The Memories We've Treasured
by movieandbooklover
Summary: He said he'd always love her. She said she trusts him more than herself. But when everything they've treasured is now lost, can those memories be forgotten to start something new, or does it run too deep that it becomes irreparable? A DDLJ fanfic. Please be aware of rating.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hello again! So I've decided to do something I've thought long and hard on and, well, here's the result. Another DDLJ fanfic and this time I'm doing something rather drastic with the characters. Don't worry, it's nothing harmless, just a bit of fun and some exploring new territory. This is an M-rated fic, so you have been warned.

A word on updates: they will come if I get reviews. So, if you want another chapter, please review! All feedback is welcomed, no matter what.

 _The following is the main cast of our tale:_

 _Raj Malhotra - Shah Rukh Khan_

 _Simran Malhotra - Kajol_

 _Anjali Malhotra - Suhana Khan_ (yes, I am going there ;))

 _Rohan Malhotra - Varun Dhawan_

 _Dharmaveer "Pops" Malhotra - Anupam Kheer_

* * *

 **Chapter One: Two Hearts Beat As One**

Simran giggled as she felt Raj peck his full lips against her neck. Here she was trying to concentrate on her task of organizing her desk and he decided to distract her. It was just after dinner and they had the house to themselves, so she knew what his intentions were this evening.

"Raj," she giggled again. "I have to finish this."

"You go ahead," he smoothly answered. "I'm not bothering you. I'm just loving my wife."

She playfully smacked his shoulder as he turned her around to face him, pressing her chest against his hard chest. After being married for over twenty years, she still swooned feeling him pressed up against her. Simran gasped as she felt his hips buck up against hers and his hard arousal pressed against her hip. Moaning at the contact, she closed her eyes in pleasure as he started worshipping the front and side of her neck. Kissing, licking and sucking her little pleasure spots he knew would drive her wild.

Raj proudly smirked when he saw her head hang back as she moaned in content with him. Quickly lifting her up and settling her on the desk, he grabbed a fistful of her hair and brought her to his lips. She kissed him ardently as he slipped his tongue in between her lips. Opening her mouth wider to accept him, they moaned at the contact of their tongues dueling as he began unbuttoning her blouse while she pulled his shirt out from his pants and unbuckled his belt. Shifting his mouth from her lips, he began kissing her neck, again, down to her chest and stomach, laying her flat on her back.

Simran quickly pulled his shirt up, letting her fingers run against his strong, muscular back, loving the feel of his muscles tense and flex under her fingers. She relished the hard feel of his muscles; seeing his strong and lean biceps flex or whenever he came out of the shower, with a towel wrapped around his waist, his abs on full display, Simran would always take the opportunity to appreciate his physiognomy, even taking the chance of jumping on him. While Raj had no complaints over it, relishing her touch against his skin.

Unbuttoning her jeans and yanking them down her legs, Raj tenderly kissed and petted her inner thighs before pushing her panties aside and began to lick her pleasure spot. Simran cried out in pleasure as his tongue went to work, going in circles just the way she liked it. Arching her back in pleasure, filming her fingers through his unruly black mane. She pushed his face down closer to her core while she rode on him. She soon felt her inner walls clenching, knowing her orgasm was imminent. The restraint she had been trying to hold back finally snapped as she cried out in ecstasy, her body shivering from the intensity.

Raj kissed his way back up to her lips, tenderly kissing her as he brought her hand down to his groin. She slowly ran her fingertips up and down on him, returning the desire.

"I need you," he groaned.

"Bedroom," she muttered against his lips.

Lifting her up off of the desk, she quickly wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her to their bedroom, while she kissed and licked his neck and cheek. He growled when she lightly grazed her teeth on a sensitive spot just behind his ear.

Entering their bedroom, he slammed the door shut with his foot as he plopped them on their bed and began stripping each other until there was nothing left. Quickly wrapping themselves with a blanket, Raj kissed and suckled her breasts, feeling her hips gyrate against his. He couldn't wait any longer and he knew neither could she. Looking into her eyes, he plunged himself into her until they gasped and moaned at the completion.

Raj began to move inside of her as Simran met his thrusts over and over again. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he gripped and squeezed her hips, they let the world slip them by, not caring about the fact their children could be home any minute, or they had other household responsibilities to take care of. When it was just the two them in the present, nothing else mattered to them.

And that's how it's always been for the past twenty years – them in love, living each day together and knowing they could not parted.

Climaxing together, their shouts and moans filled their bedroom as the essence of sweat and sex filled the air. They plopped back to the bed together in a heap of sweat. Wiping the back of her hand against her forehead, Simran felt Raj pull for her. Contently smiling, she happily slid next to him, burying her face in his neck and wrapping her arm around his waist as she laid her head against his shoulder.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," she replied before falling asleep in his arms.

* * *

The cracks of sunlight and signaling of dawn broke through the curtains. Raj quietly stirred, blinking several times, noting the press of Simran's delectable warm bottom against his hips, the thin sheet just past her hip bone as her back was pressed against his front. Proudly smirking, he squeezed her closer to him, relishing her slight purr and moan of sleep still engulfing her. Knowing he had to get up, he kissed the back of her head, contently smelling her hair before releasing her. Slightly stretching, and careful not to wake Simran, he gently peeled himself away from her.

Quickly dressing into jeans and black t-shirt, he decided it was an appropriate morning to take out his old Harley Davidson bike. Ruefully shaking his head at the thought the first time he and Simran rode together, the poor girl dug her fingernails deep into his sides, nearly giving him black and purple bruises.

"I told you not to go fast!" she chastised him.

"I wasn't!" he fired back. "I went thirty miles like the speed limit said."

It was not exactly their first argument, but one where he realized she was nearly terrified of the motor vehicle. Her face flushed and her breathing labored from the experience. He realized that kind of excitement wasn't something for his beloved wife. That was nearly twenty years ago. Since then, he's only taken the bike out whenever the opportunity arose – free time during the weekends or when the kids were not home. A promise he made to Simran after Anjali was born that he wouldn't ride while the children were around due to the unsafety of it.

This morning, however, he decided an impromptu ride. Anjali and Rohan were still not home, staying over at their friend's houses due to a school function, and Simran was still sleeping. It wouldn't hurt to ride the bike and pick up some bagels.

Grabbing his old and worn Harley Davidson leather jacket and shrugging it on, he paced down to the garage, rolling the bike outside, not feeling the need to take his helmet. Placing the bike in gear and turned the ignition on. For a moment, he let the bike vibrate beneath his fingertips, relishing the purr of the small engine. Aligning himself to position, he gently pressed the gas pedal and navigated his way outside of the neighborhood.

Still early Saturday morning, hardly any of the neighbors were outside; some taking out their trash, and others grabbing their newspapers. He slightly nodded hello to the neighbors he knew, passing by each traffic light and signaled with expert ease and grace.

Stopping at a stop sign, Raj looked to his left and right, making sure the coast was clear. What he didn't make sure of was a large, ominous tree blocking the view of a moving truck backing up into the street.

Figuring all was well, Raj gripped the gas pedal, making a left turn. Slightly turning his head over his right shoulder to make sure no one was behind him, he turned back to look straight ahead and saw, to his horror, a moving truck backing up. He gasped, stunned the truck appeared out of his vision, not slowing down or stopping as it swerved into the street. Quickly attempting to swerve around it, Raj was far too close and slammed himself against the side of the white moving truck. White hot pain shot down his arm before slamming hard against the road pavement, a sickening thud heard against the back of his skull before his vision faded into nothing but black.

* * *

Simran woke with a start. Her eyes snapping open, a cold shiver running down her spine. She gingerly got up from the bed, glancing around her bedroom, contemplating the chill she just experienced. Grabbing her robe from the armchair, she tied the sash around her waist, tentatively walking out of her bedroom to the kitchen. She noted Raj was nowhere in sight. Probably had gone out to get breakfast, she thought. Yet, she felt uneasy about something. As though something felt off and misplaced deep inside her core.

Needing to keep her hands busy, she started making tea. Filling the kettle with water from the faucet, and waited by the stove as it boiled to its maximum temperature.

For over twenty years, her life had been filled with countless happy memories of her family and Raj. He was the light in her life and, without him, there would be no life for her. Since their initial encounter to their marriage, it had been a whirlwind of a summer. One that she still fondly looks back on and has no regrets. She had everything Bauji had ever wanted for her – a doting, loving and respectable husband, and two wonderful children who adored their parents.

While it did take time for Bauji to warm up to Raj along with having to accustom himself with her choice of a husband, Bauji grew to not only respect Raj, but consider him the son he never had. Raj and Simran would call to India every week for updates and any news from her family, and after Bauji would speak with Simran for a few minutes, he'd always request to speak with Raj. She'd watch with amusement and content of how well her husband and father got along. Raj speaking animatedly with her father, while he'd affectionately call him "Bauji". She'd hear her father on the other end laugh boisterously at Raj's antics and lightly scold him when he misbehaved.

When the time came for her family to move back to London to be closer with her and the children, Raj, along with Pops, were there helping Bauji, Lajjo and Chutki reacquaint themselves with the city. They took the time, along with the children, to visit and spend the day with them every week. Simran would watch with fondness how her Bauji would play and interact with his grandchildren. Imparting wisdom from his years and regaling the tale of how he and Raj first met, and how Raj would help feed the pidgeons with him while in Punjab just to get on his good graces. She'd laugh with Anjali and Rohan at the sound he'd make, "Aaoo…aaoo," as Raj would smirk and shake his head each time the story was told.

Raj would simply wave it off and state he'd still get requests and would happily accept to feed the pigeons with Bauji at a park anytime.

For them, life took on this simple pattern for nearly ten years until the day came, in 2005, when Bauji had passed away due to a sudden stroke.

It was a blow to the entire family. Simran had mourned and grieved for weeks following the sudden passing of her beloved Bauji. He may have initially pushed her onto a marriage she knew didn't feel right, but deep down, he only wanted what was best for her. Raj had stayed beside Simran, letting her tears and cries heard, hugging her tight against him as he gently rocked her. He, too, had been surprised and grieved the passing of his father-in-law. Holding nothing but respect and reverence for Baldev Chaudhary Singh. Just before his sudden passing, though, Bauji pulled Raj aside and said something to him he internally knew but never thought he'd hear from the man himself.

"I don't know where this is coming from," Baldev wistfully began. "After living for as long as I have and experiencing whatever this life has brought me, I must say this: I'm really proud of you, Raj. You've not only built a life for yourself, a far cry from the young man I briefly met at my store, trying to swindle beer after closing time," he smirked at the memory. "I must say you've not only proven me wrong that no one can love my eldest daughter as much as you, but have done everything you can to provide for her and your family. I'm very proud to call you my son, _beta._ "

Simran remembered that evening well as Raj regaled his talk with Baldev and how stunned yet proud he was to hear him say that to him.

"I'm sure he was being facetious," Simran teased.

Raj rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. You just can't stand to not be his favorite anymore."

Simran giggled and gave a quick peck on Raj's lips, fully happy and content with how her father and husband had not only buried the hatchet, but became close over the years.

What they didn't realize was, though, that was the very last thing Bauji said to Raj before passing away in his sleep the very same evening.

Life, of course, moves on and time heals all wounds. Lajjo had been staying with Simran and would sometimes trade off and have her mother stay with Chutkie and her husband. They were still lucky in many ways, Simran figured. They had their health, happiness, a roof over their heads, a loving and solid marriage, and their parents, Pops and Lajjo, still with them.

Still, Simran thought, the whistle of the kettle blowing up and the noise filling the kitchen, something didn't feel right.

The front door opened and closed, heard with laughter and commentary from her two teenage children. Anjali and Rohan walking with their overnight bags into the kitchen with bright smiles, and their eyes dancing with excitement.

"Good morning, Mama," Anjali said, giving a light peck on Simran's cheek.

"How was the fundraiser last night?" she asked, trying to push pass the feeling of uneasiness inside her gut.

"It was good! We raised over 2,000 quid for our division," Rohan answered, still smiling from last night's dance and camping antics of his classmates.

"Hmm…" Simran only nodded as she filled her mug with the hot water, dipping the teabag several times for the color and essence of the tea to come out.

Anjali observed her mother and arched a brow at her aloofness. She knew Simran was never one to gloss over or passively hear their stories and events of the day without being attentive. Whenever she'd get this way (which was rare) something was on her mind.

"Mama, is everything okay?" Anjali asked.

Simran turned to her eldest daughter, and opened her mouth to answer her question before the shrill ring of the house phone caught her off-guard.

She nearly sighed with relief, hoping it was Raj calling. She was eager to hear his voice and calm her erratic nerves. Instead, she raised a brow as she read the caller ID, displaying the local county hospital's name and number.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hello, may I speak with a Mrs. Simran Malhotra?" a woman on the other line inquired.

"This is she. Whom may I ask is calling?"

"Hello, Mrs. Malhotra, my name is Jackie Smith. I'm a nurse at Royal Free Hospital. I'm calling in concern for your husband, Raj Malhotra. He was in a motor bicycle accident this morning and was rushed to the hospital…"

The woman's voice faded away, Simran dropping the phone as the words replayed in her mind over and over again. The blood drained from her body and face, stunned as she gasped out loud at all she had heard. Fumbling for the phone that landed on the floor with a loud thud, she reached for it and pressed the headset to her ear, needing the necessary information she needed to hear.

"Is he all right?" she quickly asked. "Where is he? What floor?"

"He's currently admitted as a patient in the hospital with severe concussions and some fractures along his ribs and arms. I've already reached out to Mr. Malhotra's father, Dharamveer Malhotra. If you could come down…"

"I'll be there right away." She answered and hung up on the nurse, running to her bedroom and quickly changing into anything she could grab her hands on to.

Both her children looked to her with concern and curiosity. Gingerly following her to her bedroom before she popped out while slipping on her boots, with no care to tie up the laces.

"Get in the car. Papa was just in an accident and is at the hospital right now," Simran instructed.

"Is he okay?" Anjali asked.

"I don't know, but we have to be there. Come on!"

Driving down the roads in a panic and frenzy, Simran couldn't care less for the traffic signs and signals. Her teenage children watched with concern and slight fear, gripping the door handle for safety as Simran weaved around street corners with sharp turns, speeding way past the speed limit.

Double parking at the hospital parking garage, she and the children rushed out of the car to the emergency room lobby.

"Where is he?" Simran frantically asked. "My husband, Raj Malhotra. Where is he?!"

The stunned young receptionist quickly gave her directions to Raj's room, frightened of Simran's frantic expression; her eyes dancing in fear and anxiety. Knowing better than to fight with her about identification and other regularities, she let them through.

Simran sprinted down the corridors and found her father-in-law standing outside a room by the ER station, nervously pacing back and forth, his bottom lip bit as he wringed his hands together, worried for his only son.

"Pops!" Simran cried out, embracing him.

" _Beta!_ It's all right," Pops reassured her, not wanting to see his daughter-in-law break down.

"How is he?" she asked, fighting back the tears. _Please tell me he's awake,_ she silently begged. _Please tell me he'll be all right._

"I haven't heard anything yet. They told me to wait out here until you arrived," he replied, rubbing his forehead.

Simran frantically looked around for a doctor. Someone, anyone to tell her the condition of her husband and if they could see him. She knew her children were behind her, standing, watching and waiting for news as well. However, for this one moment, she needed to take care of her husband. As much as they needed their mother, she needed her husband far too much. It was a vow she and Raj made after Anjali was born; that while the children were important and should always be taken care of, their marriage came first.

Simran sighed with relief when one of the nurses approached them with Raj's doctor.

"Hello, I'm Dr. John Carter, the resident here." He introduced himself, shaking hands with everyone.

"How is he?" Simran immediately asked, not caring for introductions. "How is Raj?"

"He's in stable condition right now. A few rib fractures and some bruising along his arm. Nothing I wouldn't say too serious. However, he did hit his head extremely hard."

"What do you mean?" Pops asked.

"Right now, Mr. Malhotra is suffering from a concussion. We took some x-rays and CT scans and there is some fracture along the back of his skull. Apparently, when he hit the moving truck, he fell back and hit his head against the road pavement. When he arrived, there was some bleeding on the back of his skull –"

Simran gasped, rooted to her spot and struck that this was sounding more serious than she expected.

"We were able to stitch up the wound, but there is some swelling of the brain…" Dr. Carter soon stopped speaking, pursing his lips, pondering on how to word the next sentence to them.

Rohan picked up on this, arching his brow in question and concern. "Is there more?" he tentatively asked.

Dr. Carter ruefully sighed. "When Mr. Malhotra arrived, he was unconscious. The paramedics and those that reported the incident reported the same. There's no easy way of saying this…"

"But?" Simran pressed, her heart racing and pounding hard against her chest.

"He's in a coma, and we can't get him to wake up."

* * *

A/N: as i've mentioned above, please review or no updates! Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** One review and special thank you to that person. And now, chapter 2!

 _Update on cast:_

 _Aman Patel - Uday Chopra_

* * *

 **Chapter Two: Comatose**

Heavy steps took her towards his room. She wasn't sure what to expect walking into the hospital room. All she knew was he was in a coma. Typical for those who had suffered a concussion; losing consciousness and slight swelling of the brain. Every other exam showed nothing serious. Just a few fractures that could easily be healed. While that didn't concern her, it was the fact he was in a coma terrified her.

She had read and heard far too many stories of simple injuries such as this where the patient either woke up but they never fully recovered certain functions, or they never woke up and stayed in limbo until it was time to take action about their condition. While Simran knew her imagination was running wild, deep down she knew her Raj would be fine. He'd wake up and all would be well. She'd thrash and beat him first, chastising him for riding that damn bike without his helmet, then kiss him madly and smack him again while muffling her tears of joy against his chest. Meanwhile, he would take her scoldings with his effervescent smile, holding her tight against his chest, repeating his promise over and over again while calling her 'Senorita'.

Walking into his hospital room, she gasped at the sight of him; white bandages wrapped around his head from the procedure and a few other bandages wrapped around his right arm and chest. While this all terrified her, the reassuring beep of his heart from the monitor confirmed that he was alive and well. His features at rest and peace.

Pacing to his side, not willing to be apart from him, she took his hand between hers, kissed and squeezed it tight.

Hot tears pooling her eyes, the fear of nearly losing him overwhelming her heart. Holding back a sob, she swallowed, knowing she had to be strong for Raj, her family and for herself. Breaking down would be easy, she knew, but it wouldn't help her husband to full recovery. Yes, he was in a coma. Yes, he took his bike out without being careful and practicing safety. While she wanted to bash him all she liked, she knew better.

"Raj…"she whispered, swallowing another sob attempting to make its way up. She sniffed, wiping her nose, careful not to fall apart. She heavily sighed, shaking her head at his peaceful, rested face. "You are in so much trouble when you wake up." She ruefully laughed, admonishingly shaking her head at him for being reckless at his age.

"But," she continued, her bottom lip quivering. "You need to get up, _mere jaan._ You need to get up. Your family needs you. _I_ need you."

Simran kissed the back of Raj's hand, rubbing her thumb against his skin. Just the simple feel of his warm skin reassured her all will be well. It has to be, she stubbornly thought.

"Mrs. Malhotra?" a voice softly called behind her.

Simran turned to find the young Dr. Carter at the doorway, a small, weak smile on his lips. He carefully walked in and stood beside Simran.

"Yes?" she answered.

"I wanted to discuss with you the procedures and other effects that your husband will go through…"

"Such as?" Simran gulped, her heart squeezing at the endless, somber possibilities of Raj's recovery.

"Well, for starters, having a concussion with a result of a coma is common. I realized I made it sound much more morose earlier, however, there are several cases and patients that have fully recovered and lead perfectly normal lives. The pluses are he is breathing on his own and the swelling of his brain will un-swell. But, I still need to tell you that there's other ramifications of his comatose state – atrophy of his muscles is a major issue, for example."

"I know the hospital regulation is that if he doesn't wake up in a certain amount of time that he'll have to be placed in a home." She mentioned.

"This is true, however I highly doubt it. He may have 'bumped' his head," he said, making air quotes with his fingers, "but I doubt we'll come to that."

Simran nodded as she heard Dr. Carter explain more about Raj's condition; how he'll be receiving his nutrients via intravenous fluid and other financial obligations she will face. While this was all important, she couldn't think about any of it. Her head started to spin as the floor under her began to slip away. She wanted to escape from Dr. Carter's overload of information. Simran knew the children needed to see their father, Pops needed to see him as well. Reassuring him his eldest and only son is well and will recover.

Just when she nearly willed the good doctor to stop speaking, the hospital door flew open and there she found her younger sister, Chutkie and mother, Lajjo, pacing through to the room.

"Maa!" Simran cried out, running into her mother's arms, relieved to see her, squeezing her abdomen tight.

" _Beta_? What happened? How?" Lajjo asked, stunned from what she heard over the phone this morning. She knew Raj to be adventurous at times. But this, she felt, was so unlike him to be careless. Looking over to her son-in-law, his face rested and at peace. His breathing soft and quiet, while his chest rose up and down. At least there was that, she figured as she watched Chutkie walk over to Raj's bedside, her eyes questioning if this was real. If this was truly happening.

Lajjo was coaxed back to Simran, her sob and yelp bringing her back to her eldest daughter. She knew all she could do was be a mother to her. Reassure her that all will certainly be well.

* * *

Pops watched outside through the window of Raj's hospital room, the three women gathered around him. Chutkie's unfathomable gaze at her brother-in-law while Lajjo's concern over her eldest daughter grew. He knew he should let them be for now. He'd rather visit with Raj on his own time. For now, he knew his son was all right. For now, that thought will do.

"Grandpops?" Anjali coaxed.

Pops ruefully smiled at his name from Anjali. From the time she learned to talk, she only wanted to call him by that name. He perfectly recalled her response when he questioned her one day why he called her "Granpops" while calling Simran's father by his traditional title.

"Because!" her two-year-old self happily responded. "If Papa can call you 'Pops' then I can call you 'Grandpops!'"

He even had to laugh when Rohan began talking and using the term as well, learning from his big sister.

" _Haan, Beta_?"

"Did the doctor say anything else?" she softly asked.

He slowly shook his head. "Anything else he might've said, he told it to your mother." Pops heavily sighed, turning his gaze away from Anjali to Raj, contemplating what he should do next. Go to the office? Come out of his semi-retirement and take charge again until Raj is well? And what about Simran? Will she go back to work?

Before he could contemplate further, he observed Anjali take a step closer to the window, intently watching her mother cry into Lajjo's arms, her gaze thoughtful.

"The last time I saw Mama cry was when _Dada-ji_ passed away," she softly commented.

Pops didn't respond, assessing what she was trying to say to him. Since the time she was little, he always knew her to be perceptive and philosophical with a quick wit. A steely combination of both her parents.

"Papa used to say to me, 'Although she can drive me crazy sometimes, life without your mother would mean nothing to me.'" She gulped and paused for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts, holding back her own tears, knowing she had to be strong now. At least, be strong for her mother.

"I've heard how Mama and Papa met and all they went through just to be together," she continued. "I know that they love each other to the point where they can sit in a room, no words necessary and they already know what they're thinking. I just…I just never really understood how much they needed each other until now."

Pops wrapped his arm around her shoulders, giving her a reassuring squeeze and weakly smiled. "Your father went through much pining, a lot of running around, multiple bruises and fractures just to be with your mother. He _will_ come out of this. I have no doubt in my mind."

Anjali could only nod as her misty green eyes were still fixated at her mother's tear-stricken face.

* * *

"So there's nothing we can do for now?" Aman, Chutkie's husband of five years quipped, unsatisfied with the answer.

Rohan shook his head sadly at his uncle. He wished there was more to tell, he somberly thought, but unfortunately that wasn't the case.

"All the doctor said was that he suffered a concussion which led him to the coma. All we can do now is wait for him to wake up…"

"And then what?" Aman retorted.

"Then…" Rohan simply shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not sure. I think the only thing Mama cares about is that Papa wakes up and we can forget about this whole thing."

"I don't blame you," Aman sighed, unsure what to do. When they received the phone call this morning from Dharmaveer, he couldn't believe it. Neither could Chutkie or Lajjo. Rushing down to the hospital only to confirm it had shocked him and his wife.

When he initially met Chutkie at Oxford University, he was stunned by how much she revered her brother-in-law. Any many would question such admiration, but he found it endearing and actually wanted to meet the man himself. When he first met Raj, he got along with him just fine; speaking to each other as though they were old friends, joking around with one other and talking all things guy related – cars, rugby, football and the adventures they had when it came to dating.

The subject of Chutkie soon came up and Raj only had one piece of advice for him: "She's practically my little sister, and she can read people better than I can sometimes. So, I trust her instincts. I also know that you like her very much. But hurt her and you'll have me to answer to," Raj sternly stated the last bit.

Now, Aman had heard this kind of talk before but he knew to believe it coming from him. After all, he had heard the story of Raj and Simran's courtship from Chutkie. Something he felt could only come from books and movies, yet it really happened to these two great people.

Pacing the corridors with his nephew, Aman was secretly glad his children were home with his parents and away from all of this. The very thought that their favorite uncle is not well and in a hospital would've rock them to their core.

There was no way of knowing what will happen in the next few days, Aman figured. All the entire family could do was wait. Wait for Raj to wake up.

* * *

Three days. Three awfully long, drawn out days. Simran wasn't sure how much more she could take. With each passing day, there were no signs of changes. Nothing to indicate that Raj would wake up. It was foolish of her to think it could happen suddenly overnight and this nightmare could be over. Wishful thinking, she forlornly thought.

Sitting at his bedside, watching the nurse carefully change the IV fluid bag and check his vital signs, she wasn't sure if she should continue the same inquisition that she had been sputtering for the past 72 hours; any changes? What can I do? Why is he not waking up? How long does a swelling of the brain un-swell? And while the nurses knew she had well intentions, a part of her also felt she was harassing them when she heard the usual agitated, soft sigh coming from their lips, tired of her inquisition.

Simran had hardly been home these past couple of days. Pops and Lajjo having temporarily moved in to take care of things while she was here. She had called work and had to willingly have an associate professor take over her classes for the semester until further notice.

Distantly staring at Raj's features, she noted a hint of stubble starting to grow with flecks of grey. Making a mental note to bring his razor and shaving cream tomorrow when she came for another visit.

"Talk to him," the nurse suggested.

"I'm sorry?" Simran answered, tearing her gaze away from her husband.

The plump nurse sympathetically smiled. "Talk to him, love. Let him know you're here. He may not be awake, but his ears are working just fine." She winked and turned back to finishing charting his vitals.

Simran turned to Raj, wondering where to start. She had spoken to him here and there the past few days, but a full on conversation? She wasn't sure how to even approach it. She figured she'd look insane, talking to herself when really she was trying to reach her husband.

"When was the last time you had something to eat, love?" the nurse asked, coaxing Simran out of another reverie.

She turned to the nurse and helplessly shrugged, unsure when she last had a full meal.

The nurse clucked her tongue and shook her head in disapproval. "Well, that won't do. I'll bring you something from the cafeteria, on me." She bustled away, Simran watching her go, unsure what to do.

Before she knew it, the same nurse happily paced back in, humming a tune to herself, caring a tray of food for her. The nurse adjusted the rolling table towards her, unpacking the food from the tray for Simran to grab any one of the items; vanilla pudding, a tuna sandwich, a small cup of assorted fruit and apple juice.

Simran looked up, unsure of what to do or where to even start. Her appetite was nowhere in her, she hadn't even felt hungry until she got a whiff of the tuna sandwich and her stomach contracting in hunger. Gingerly picking up the sandwich, she tentatively took a bite from the corner and mechanically chewed before swallowing.

"That's it!" the nurse encouragingly said. "I'm going to check back in a bit and I expect the tray to be cleared."

Simran gave a rueful smile to the kind nurse. She figured she must be a mother or, at least, being a nurse for as long as she has been, has the maternal instincts within her.

"Thank you," Simran whispered after swallowing a bit of the sandwich, "for this."

"Anytime, love. You need anything, just give me a call. My name is Jacqueline, but everyone here calls me Jackie."

Once Jackie was satisfied that Simran ate a portion of her sandwich, she walked away to her other duties, her other patients needing her attention. She was soon stopped at the nurse's station by Dr. Carter, asking for an update on his patients, especially the case with Mr. Raj Malhotra.

"While I am worried for Mr. Malhotra," Jackie began, "it's his wife I'm more worried about."

"Oh? Why do you say that?" he asked, knowing by the good nurse's experience and way with patients, she was more adept than he, with still a young doctor.

"In all the time she's been here, she hasn't eaten or spoken to him. I gave her food from the cafeteria, but there's something…amiss, I would say."

"I'm not following," Dr. Carter responded, his eyebrow raised in question.

"It's as though, without him, she's not whole. That's how deep their connection or love is, I would say. I've only heard stories from others about this kind of love. But seeing it…in my very own eyes…For Mrs. Malhotra, without her husband, there's nothing for her in this life."

* * *

"It's been three weeks and I am sick and tired of hearing the same damn thing!" Simran lashed out at the nurses and Dr. Carter.

While the medical staff could do only so much, they sympathized with Simran's frustration. She had come in every single day, assisting the nurses with stretching Raj's muscles in case of atrophy, shaving him, bathing him, even reading out loud Raj's favorite books. Anything to be involved in his care. She'd gone so far to become acquainted with majority of the staff. There were times, when no one was around, she'd have a conversation with Raj. Maybe it was to keep her sane, or the hope that Raj was actually listening while in his condition.

While this all helped with her sanity, it had now come to the point of ludicrously. What was happening? Why was Raj not waking up?

After today's CT and MRI scans and results, all showed clear signs that the swelling had gone down back to normal, yet there was no sign of Raj waking up. Simran had finally snapped. No longer was she sad and a pitiful mess of tears and sobs. No, she was mad as hell and demanded answers.

"You told me that once the swelling is gone that he'll wake up!" she pointed at Dr. Carter. "The swelling has gone away and nothing. What is going on? Is there something you overlooked that could be the reason he's still in a coma?"

"Mrs. Malhotra, please," Dr. Carter said, placing his hands up in defense. "Trust me when I tell you that we've looked at every option and every diagnostic for your husband's case. It was a concussion. Good news is that yes, the swelling is gone, but as far as the coma, that is entirely up to the way his brain is working. He's not medically induced, so this is entirely on his own when it comes to finally waking up. We can never tell with these things since the brain is difficult to measure."

Simran scoffed, not needing to hear another lecture on this. She had read enough to know Raj's condition and how the comatose state usually works. But never did she think that Raj would still be under.

Anjali watched Simran's shoulders and back hunch, tightened and rigid. She knew her mother was being inpatient, stubborn and frustrated. After all, she missed Raj. They all did, but even she had to agree that there was something off about the whole situation. What was the issue? She wondered. Why was Papa not waking up if the swelling had disappeared now?

Before Anjali realized, Dr. Carter excused himself to check on his other patients. Simran threw her hands up in the air, running her fingers through her hair, her eyes darting back and forth between the monitors and Raj.

"Your father is either teasing me or is a stubborn ass," Simran commented, shaking her head in disbelief.

"You heard Dr. Carter, every patient is different to these things," Anjali said.

"Yes, but…" she heavily sighed, closing her eyes, grogginess taking over her exhausted body. "I just feel so useless half the time. Here I am, reading to him, talking or stretching his arms and leg muscles, and yet…" she held back a sob, knowing that she couldn't afford to break down anymore. She needed to be strong for her family.

"I need some fresh air," Simran finally said, walking out of the room, needing to get away from the situation for a good minute.

Anjali nodded, watching her walk out, taking a turn around the corridor. Yes, it was frustrating, but deep down she knew her father will wake up. There simply was no other option. Taking a seat at a chair beside him, she gingerly took Raj's hand and weakly smiled his way.

She took in her father's features, still serene and peaceful, oblivious to his family's concern and worry over his condition. Not wanting to dwell on somber thoughts, Anjali thought back to simpler times when Raj would be an overbearing, loving father.

Anjali fondly smiled, recalling one of her earliest memories at her second birthday party. Simran was very much pregnant with her baby brother, and she clearly recalled wanting her mama to pick her up and hold her in her arms. Her little arms up and open for her, pleading with Simran in her baby-like voice.

"Up, Mama! Up!" she requested.

"Oh, _beta_ ," Simran ruefully sighed. "I can't. Mama doesn't have enough strength to pick you up."

Just when she was about to tear up, she felt a large set of arms swoop her up and rain her kisses all over her cheeks. Anjali giggled, knowing her fun Papa would never let her down.

"Come on, Anjali!" Raj happily exclaimed, propping the girl on his hip. "You've got a wish to make and a birthday cake to cut that Mama has been eyeing for the past half hour."

"I was not!" Simran retorted. "If anyone's been eyeing that cake, it's you," she pointed out.

Raj smirked. "Whatever you say, Senorita," he winked as Simran rolled her eyes while Anjali giggled further.

Her young eyes watched with glee as her entire family and friends from the daycare gathered around while they sang 'happy birthday' to her. Anjali's face warmed and blushed at the attention, hiding her face in the crook of her Papa's neck. Raj warmly chuckled, soothingly rubbing her back to get her attention back to the party.

"Come on, Anjali," Raj whispered. "Everyone's waiting for you to blow out your candle and make a wish."

Anjali shyly grinned, knowing this was the best part. Turning around, she pursed her lips in concentration, her brows furrowed, thinking long and hard on what she should wish.

"Well, I definitely know where she gets that look from," Simran commented, glancing at Chutkie.

Chutkie chuckled in reply. "I taught her well," she commented as they all patiently waited for the young girl to make her wish.

"I got it!" Anjali exclaimed, her eyes wide with childlike excitement. Tightly closing her eyes, internally making her wish before opening them and puffing out air to blow out her two candles on her white icing princess cake. Everyone cheered and clapped as Raj cut a slice of cake, picking a piece with his fingers as Anjali took a bite of it.

"Play, Papa!" Anjali then cried out, jumping out of her father's arms, running to the wide open field of the park.

Raj sighed, shaking his head in amazement, wondering where she got all that energy from.

"I also definitely know she gets her energy and zest from you," Simran whispered to Raj from behind, wrapping her arms around his torso, just managing to touch her fingers due to her big belly.

Raj smirked as he watched Anjali chase after something that caught her attention before plopping on her bottom and getting right back up. "I guess she does," Raj fondly said. "Take it easy for the rest of the day," Raj gently requested. "I don't want you over-stressing yourself after all you've done for her birthday. I'd like my son to be healthy and for my Senorita to relax."

"And what if it's a girl?" she arched a brow, a smile playing on the corners of her lips.

Raj smiled. "Then I'll love her even more. But trust me, it's a boy." Raj quickly kissed Simran's forehead before running to Anjali, chasing her around the park before catching her and tickling her. Her giggles heard across the park as Raj laughed with her, still unreal to him that she had already turned two while another child was on the way.

Anjali brought herself back to the present, wiping a stray tear away before composing herself. She remembered watching that video countless times while Raj always requested to know just what her wish was. While she always stated she couldn't remember, she did vividly recall the excitement of having a younger sibling to play with soon. She did, though, remember a part of her wish that nothing would change; she'd have her Grandpops, _Dadi_ and _Dada-ji_ , Aunt Chutkie and her parents always around. Sadly, such things were never meant to last forever.

Heavily sighing, she glanced back at Raj, knowing that this family could not suffer his absence any longer. "Please come back, Papa," she whispered. "We miss you."

She lightly pecked Raj's cheek before leaving his hospital room for the rest of the evening.

* * *

Her bones and muscles pressed heavily upon her. Laying in her bed, having slept for what seemed an eternity still wasn't enough. Simran grudgingly opened her eyes, not sated by the long, overdue sleep she needed. These past few weeks had taken nearly every energy vessel she had in her.

From the moment she received the call of Raj's accident to his state of comatose to now being healed yet not waking up, she wasn't sure what else she had in her. Taken every advantage she could to be by his side, taking care of him by bathing, stretching and talking to him wasn't necessarily all for him. She had to feel involved somewhere and needed to keep herself busy in case she had a breakdown. If he didn't wake up, or worse, if he wasn't going to wake up, then what was the next step? She never pictured her life without Raj except for that one fleeting moment at the train station so many years ago; her Bauji tightly grasping her wrist, unwilling to let her go and be with Raj as Raj's train steadily started making its way away from her. Begging and pleading with Bauji to let her go as glimpses of what her life might be like without her love cross her mind – a existent to a man that did not love her, waking each moment day by day as a being and nothing more. She'd never speak, and possibly could never give the future children she might've had with Kuljit the kind of motherly love they needed from her. All of her thoughts would be consumed by memories of her and Raj's time together and visions of what life might've been like for them.

Thankfully, that moment never happened as Bauji finally let her go, figuratively and literally, by letting her be with her one true love.

Years passed, of course, and they've had their struggles, both good and bad, but this was beyond her comprehension. What was she to do? Where was she to go from here if Raj does not wake up?

Before she could further entertain the thought, the shrill ring of her mobile set off, causing her to slightly jump from her bed. Taking a deep breath, she answered the call without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?" she groggily answered, her voice still induced with sleep.

"Hello, may I speak with Mrs. Simran Malhotra?" a chipper voice on the other end asked.

"This is she."

"Hello, Mrs. Malhotra. This is Nurse Jackie from Royal Free Hospital. I'm calling in regards to your husband, Raj…"

"Yes?" Simran perked up, slowly straightening herself in an upright, sitting position. Her heart hammering hard against her chest as she bit her bottom lip in anticipation, anxious to hear whatever news the kind nurse had for her.

"I have good news for you. He's awake."

* * *

 **A/N:** As always, reviews are not only love but they'll get you the next chapter! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I apologize for the long wait. Exams and stress of grad school have been getting to me. But I finally have this down and out for you all to read! Side-note: the first part will jump from perspectives.

Once again, I need reviews to keep this story going forward. So, review=next chapter. Happy reading!

* * *

 **Chapter Three: Awake**

 _Bright light hit her eyelids, signaling another day had arrived. Simran groaned, languidly stretching while a soreness, the good kind, engulfed her. She smirked and prettily blushed at what brought the soreness on. Turning to her side, she found Raj still very much asleep, laying on his back, his mouth slightly open. She smiled, curling up to his side, inhaling his scent as she lightly roamed her fingertips over his chest._

 _Holding back her laughter from his sleepy groan from her light touch, she placed a kiss over his heart, laying her head in the crook of his neck, relishing his radiating warmth._

 _Last night was their first night together as husband and wife. While they had married a week prior in India, Raj had wanted to hold off their wedding night until they reached their honeymoon destination – Zurich, Switzerland. The very same country where they fell in love. It was an unspoken agreement between them this was where their honeymoon should be; come back to the land where not only their friendship, but true feelings for each other blossomed._

 _Harking back to last night's memories, she blushed at all the intimate and amorous moments they shared together. Raj slowly raking his eyes over Simran's short, spaghetti-strapped cream colored negligée; the cleavage cut low to her midriff, baring portions of her honey-colored skin and breasts. His hands warm and gentle as he led the straps down her arms, fully revealing herself to him. Her shyness got the best of her for the moment, slightly embarrassed of her nude form, until Raj placed a finger under her chin, and guiding her to look him in the eye._

" _Please don't hide yourself from me," he asked, audibly gulping as his eyes glowed with warmth, lust and love. "You're beautiful, Simran. So beautiful…"_

 _Simran's breathing grew heavy, her heart racing, eyes glowing, glancing between his soulful eyes and full lips, wanting to kiss him with all the passion she had in her. Her shyness escaping her as she indulged in the pleasures and desires of her husband. Undressing him, running her fingers over his smooth chest as he groaned against her touch, reveling in it._

 _Before they knew it, they were lying in bed, wrapped around the bedsheets, kissing and sucking every inch of skin they could reach; Raj massaging and kissing her breasts, Simran moaning in pleasure, relishing in his touch. And before they knew it, Raj, ever so slowly, entered in her and were united as one. Simran recalled him shaking on top of her, afraid of hurting her, while she whimpered at the piercing pinch in her core. She fondly smiled as he kissed every inch of her face, telling her to breathe, that it's almost over. Tears sprang in her eyes from the pain, attempting to focus on Raj and not so much the pain, taking deep breaths to relax her mind and body. Before she knew it, the pain was gone and she breathed a sigh of relief, glad the hard part was over._

 _Yet the next part had her head spinning in ecstasy. Never had she realized such lovemaking was real, only reading about it in books. Her back arching in pleasure as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her, her thrusts meeting each of Raj's thrusts, her fingers grazing over his back as Raj groaned in pleasure. Their moans of pleasure filling the room as whispered, "I love you" were exchanged._

 _And they crashed together from a high in the most intimate form. All the weeks of pining for each other, their flirtatious barbs and spoken words of love finally released in this moment._

 _Now, here they were; Simran cozying up against Raj's side in the very same room they were in last time, as he soon sleepily blinked his eyes open. He smirked down at her, his deep dimples clearly showing._

" _Good morning, Senorita," he said, his voice thick with sleep._

" _Good morning," she shyly responded, pecking his lips with a kiss._

" _Hmm…" he hummed suggestively, arching a brow at her, and began kissing the side of her neck._

 _She giggled. "Raj, we need to get up," she lightly scolded him._

" _Not yet, Senorita," he responded in a low voice. "There's still some things I'd like to do to you," he suggestively said as he licked her earlobe._

 _Simran gasped and groaned at the sensation, clutching on to Raj, knowing they had all the time in the world to start their day._

* * *

Simran woke with a start, the dream she had was sure to be a memory from their first official day on their honeymoon. And while she wanted to chuckle and laugh at that memory – the giddiness of being a bride in the arms of the man she loved – she couldn't find the emotion to do so. After all she had learned this afternoon, she wasn't sure when she would laugh again.

The moment she got the call from the hospital, she was elated and relieved with news Raj had finally woken up after his month long coma. Rushing down to the hospital, going pass security, desperately wanting to be in her husband's comforting arms again. She didn't care the nurses tried to stop her, she didn't care Dr. Carter or Pops tried to prevent her from seeing Raj. Stating countless times to her to wait, that there was something urgent they needed to tell her before she walked into his room.

No, none of that mattered to her. She pushed passed her father-in-law into Raj's room, and saw to her relief Raj was sitting up and moving his arms for the nurse to check his blood pressure, talking, saying something to the nurse.

"Raj!" she cried out, relief washing over her that this was real, that this was true.

Running into his arms, embracing him around his neck, tears washed down her cheeks,thankful that all will be well again. Everything could go back to the way it was, and forget this whole ordeal. Yet, she quickly questioned why his arms didn't tightly embrace her back. Why he awkwardly patted her back, as if he wasn't sure what to do.

"Raj?" she questioned, pushing away from him to see his expression. What she found rocked her to her core; vacant, questionable eyes searching her face for an unspoken answer. Eyes that could easily recognize her and gaze her with longing and love was missing, nowhere inside the soulful brown eyes she loved. Something was different, she internally noted, it didn't feel right. Whatever was going on didn't sit well in her gut. It was then she heard the question from him that rocked her very core. Never even contemplating that such a thing could occur. She wasn't sure how she made her way out of his room, or where she found the chair in the hospital corridor to sit down at.

"Simran?" a voice coaxed her out of her reverie.

Simran mechanically turned to the voice and found Pops standing in front of her, his brows furrowed in concern. "Simran, talk to me," he softly requested. "Is there anything I can do?"

She ran her hands over her face, pushing away the spinning in her head from her uncomfortable nap, unsure if there was anything he could do. She gingerly stood up on shaky legs, the blood slowly draining from her face.

"I just – I need –"she stammered out, before the world fell under her to total darkness.

She didn't hear Pops crying out for help as he quickly caught her fainting form. She didn't hear the nurses rush to her side to steady her and have her sit back down, hastily bringing her a sugary drink to get her blood sugar back up. No, all she heard ringing in her head over and over again was Raj's blatant question to her.

" _Who are you?"_

* * *

A beep. That's all he heard for a good few seconds. A constant beep that didn't seem to stop beside him. A slight groan escaped his throat, troubled by the disturbance, yet he knew it was time to wake up. He wasn't sure how, but he slowly willed his eyes open, blinking several times to adjust his eyes from the bright sunlight beaming in his room.

Blinking several more times to adjust his vision, Raj looked around and saw only white; white walls, white sheets, with the exception of the brown leather furniture, but still…something felt off. His bones felt heavy, as though a brick sat right on top of his body. Wincing at the slight irritation of adjusting, a small pinching pain radiated down his lower back from the small movement, he slightly turned his head to the left to the beeping sound. To his surprise, he saw a woman in her mid-fifties with short, strawberry blonde hair wearing red-framed glasses, checking his vitals on the screen.

Wanting to speak but unable to find the words; his throat cracked and dry. His tongue parched, desperately wanting an ice cold glass of water. Clearing his throat to push the dryness down, the nurse quickly whipped her head to him and gasped, a relieved smile on her face.

"Welcome back," she happily said.

"Mmm…"he responded, his eyes still adjusting to the light. "Can I get some water, please?" he finally managed.

"Of course!" the woman scurried about the room, taking the pitcher of water that was already on the food cart and poured him a small cup, careful not to overwhelm his digestive system.

"There's a good lad," she approvingly said, watching him slowly gulp down the contents. "How do you feel?"

"Groggy, stiff…confused, I guess," Raj replied, still gazing around the room, questioning why he was here.

"Do you know where you are?" the woman then asked, noting his questionable expression.

"The hospital," Raj easily answered.

"Good," she smiled. "Do you know what your name is?"

Raj had to think for a moment. He knew he had a name, it was inside him, clouded by the pounding sensation of a headache. His hand immediately went up to the side of his head, softly pressing down to aid the pain only to find a bandage wrapped around his head. Before he could think anything of it, his name came screaming back to him from the deep depths of his mind.

"Raj," he finally muttered. "Raj Malhotra."

"Excellent!" the woman happily exclaimed.

Before the woman could go on further, another gentlemen walked into the room. Wearing khaki pants, button down shirt with a fine blazer, and glasses. He had an air about him that made him seem dignified yet fun-loving. The first thing Raj recognized were his playful eyes and small smile on his round face.

"Pops?" Raj questioned, wondering if his brain was working right.

Pops sighed in relief to find his eldest and only son finally awake after over a month of him being in a coma. Pacing over to him, Dharmaveer embraced his son, relieved and glad to see him awake and well.

"It's so good to see you," Pops whispered, softly sniffling, patting his back.

"If you'll excuse me gentlemen," the woman announced. "I have to get the doctor here and make a phone call to Mrs. Malhotra."

"Thank you very much, Jackie," Dharmaveer stepping away from Raj and turned to the nurse. "You don't know how much we appreciated your help," he expressed.

Nurse Jackie simply smiled and walked away, her heart feeling lighter that she was about to bring the couple back together after being a part for so long.

"Mrs. Malhotra, eh Pops?" Raj smirked, having no recollection of his father taking a second wife. Then again, they always teased and joke about such things with each other.

Pops chuckled. "Not _my_ Mrs. Malhotra, _your_ Mrs. Malhotra."

"Mine?" Raj questioned, unsure if he heard him correctly.

"Yes. Simran will be so happy to see you. She's been going out of her mind worried about you, but thankfully we can move on from this," Pops smirked, conjuring the image of Raj and Simran embracing each other and finally moving on from this horrible chapter. After a serious scolding from Simran, he chuckled at the thought.

Raj's mind reeled at this new information. Hearing Pops talk about this…Simran seemed strange. His brows furrowed in concentration, trying to conjure the image of the woman that apparently is his wife.

Before he could think anything of it, a tall man wearing a white coat with his chocolate brown hair pushed back walked into his room. He seemed young, Raj figured, but had an air of wisdom and friendly smile about him.

"Well Mr. Malhotra, you gave us all a fright," the good doctor said.

"I guess I did," Raj tentatively answered, unsure what his response should be.

"My name is Dr. John Carter. I've been taking care of you since your arrival, and I can say many people will be glad to see you up and about."

Raj only nodded and weakly smiled his way.

"But, first, I'm going to ask you a few questions: do you remember what happened on the day of the accident?"

Raj searched within the depths of his mind for anything, anything at all that brought him to the hospital. Yet, the harder he tried, the harder it was to conjure up any memory at all. Why was this so difficult? It should be an easy thing to remember, hence he was lying in a hospital bed. No one would randomly be in a hospital.

His brows furrowed in concentration, while pursing his lips in frustration. Absolutely nothing coming to mind, he dejectedly thought.

"Black," he muttered, shaking his head. "All I remember is black."

Dr. Carter simply nodded but watched his patient carefully, knowing something was amiss. Doing his best to keep his expression neutral, he continued. "Raj, I'm going to ask you a other few questions and tell me whatever comes to mind first."

"All right," he slowly answered.

"What year is it?"

Raj was ready to answer, opening his mouth to answer the obvious question yet it completely escaped him.

"I – I – don't know," he stammered, stunned by his own answer. His heart beginning to race against his chest from the pressure of it mounting on him.

Pops eyes widened at Raj's answer, baffled that his own son couldn't recall the year. A simple thought crossed his mind, yet he was afraid to admit the truth. Even recalling just a small moment ago that Raj was confused about the fact that he is married to Simran. _Oh God,_ he worriedly thought, _no, please no_.

Dr. Carter pursed his lips and decided to continue with his questionnaire to confirm his diagnosis. "All right…can you tell me who this man is?" he pointed to Dharmaveer.

"My dad," Raj quickly answered.

"Can you recall any other recent detail? It doesn't have to be huge, just something small before the accident."

Raj glanced between Dr. Carter and Pops, trying all he might within his mind to conjure up any kind of memory, even the image what his supposed wife looked like. The harder he tried, though, the harder it was to actually visualize anything. Even his head was starting to hurt from the amount of pressure he was putting on his mind. It then dawned on him – he doesn't remember a thing. Nothing. The only image and person he recognizes is Pops but no memories associated with it. Just recognition.

His breaths came out harsher as tears sprang to his eyes. Fighting a breakdown, he looked up and forlornly shook his head at the doctor.

"Nothing," he whispered in a broken voice. "I – I'm sorry. I don't remember a thing."

"As I suspected," Dr. Carter muttered under his breath. He glanced over to Dharmaveer then Raj, offering him a small smile. "Mr. Malhotra, I'm going to have Nurse Jackie came back in here to bring you some lunch and have a conversation with you on your next steps. I'm going to speak to your father outside."

Raj could only nod, knowing he needed to be alone for a moment and gather his thoughts. After all, suffering from what he knew was serious needed to be contemplated over. Turning his direction over to the window, Raj considered all he had learned from his small, detailed conversation with Pops. What was he to do now? Stay here? Recover until he got his memories back? Or was this just something acute and his memories will rush back?

Before he could contemplate further, Raj heard the creak of the door and entered the same kind nurse from earlier. Jackie was her name, he easily recalled. At least there was that, Raj somberly thought, at least he could remember something recent.

Pops walked out of the room to the hospital corridor, more confused and concerned than ever. Was it even possible? Could it be even possible? He watched from the hospital window of Nurse Jackie prepping Raj's lunch and speaking to him about the basics – what year it is, how old he is and other facts that wouldn't cause him emotional distress such as his family and the life he and Simran created.

"I'm sure you've already figured it out yourself that your son is suffering from memory loss," Dr. Carter began.

Pops nodded, his brows furrowed, dumbfounded by the whole situation. "Amnesia," he muttered.

"Retrograde Amnesia is the more proper term," Dr. Carter offered. "Unfortunately, due to his head injury this may be an effect of it. There are cases where it usually doesn't last long and memories do come back…"

"I'm hearing a 'But' somewhere in that sentence," Pops intervened, turning to the doctor, the blood from his face draining away.

Dr. Carter ruefully sighed. "Yes, there are some cases where the memories do not come back at all."

"Dear God," Pops horrifically whispered.

"But, I must say, I'm impressed by the fact that he remembers you," Dr. Carter kindly pointed out. "Usually patients have no collection at all or go back to a moment years ago and are stuck there."

"Is there hope, at least? That his memories will come back?"

Dr. Carter ruefully sighed. "Like I said, it's tough to tell. My only advice is to be supportive of him and –"

Before Dr. Carter could continue, he and Pops turned to the same direction of commotion coming from the nurse's station. Pops heart stopped in his chest when he realized it was Simran who was causing the commotion.

"I need to see my husband!" Simran cried out, passing through the nurses who were trying to stop her. They had already been told about Raj's case and wanted to ease the man into seeing his wife, however Simran was ignorant as they had yet to break the news to her.

When Simran ran up to Raj's room, Pops tried to stop her; grabbing her arms to get her to calm down before she had the chance to reach for the doorknob.

"Please, Pops!" Simran begged, her smile never wavering once on her face. "I just need to see him! I need to see he's okay."

"Simran," Pops began, "there's something you need to know…"

But he couldn't say a thing as she gently pushed away from his gentle grip on her arms and barged into Raj's room. The ethereal smile never escaping her lips.

Raj turned away from Jackie to the commotion coming from his door to see a woman with long black tresses, misty green eyes and honey colored skin standing in his doorway. He didn't know what to make of her presence. Yet, the first thing he noted about her was her eyes and the depths it held inside them.

Before he could say anything to the woman standing there, she sprinted towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck, squeezing him tight as a vice. Raj had no idea how to respond or react, all he could do was sit there, dumbfounded by this woman's presence and such…devotion to him.

"Raj!" she cried out in relief. "Oh, thank God you're okay!"

He heard the tears of joy coming from her lips, her warm embrace filling his body. While he was glad she had an easy mind about him, he couldn't help but feel awkward. Simply patting her on the back, still speechless to reply. He felt her back tense at the feel of his hands on her, trying to be informal yet came out the opposite.

Pushing herself away from him, she looked into his eyes, trying to search something in the depths of them.

"Raj?" she questioned, raising a concerned brow.

Raj took a better look at her features he noted earlier and tried as he might, searching in the depths of his mind for something, anything, that told him he knew her. In the end, he sadly found nothing.

Before he thought better of it, he asked the one question that had this woman gasp in shock, slowly and eerily regress away from him, and run away before he could stop her and apologize, stunned by his blatant question.

"Who are you?"

* * *

"I know this comes as a shock to you," Dr. Carter began.

Simran scoffed, her arms folded, avoiding the good doctors compassionate gaze. From her periphery, she noted a white Styrofoam cup offered to her. She gingerly took the cup, noting steam wafting in the air from the freshly brewed tea.

Dr. Carter took a seat beside Simran, cradling his own cup of tea he brewed for both of them. After her episode, he and Pops walked her into his office and decided to have a moment alone with her. He knew this was something he needed to help her with. After all she had learned this afternoon and her fainting from the stress and anxiety of her husband's condition, he felt he had to hold her hand through this process. It wasn't going to be easy, but he recognized that Raj will pull through. The memories would come back. They usually do.

"But trust me when I tell you, there are plenty of ways to help him," Dr. Carter offered.

Simran ruefully shook her head, not knowing how this could happen. One minute, they were making love, the next he was in an accident that pushed him into a coma, now…how could she help him with this?

"You know," she began, audibly gulping while trying all her might to maintain her composure. She had enough breakdowns to last her for a lifetime, she figured. Now, she knew she needed to be strong. "For a moment, I thought that maybe I'd have to take care of him. Possibly he'd have weakness or paralysis on one side of his body. Or maybe his speech would be slightly slurred, or something along those lines. But at least I could take care of him. Now…how could I possibly take care of my husband when he doesn't even recognize me?"

"By being the strong mother and wife you've always been to him and your family. Simran – may I call you 'Simran'?"

Simran nodded, wondering what words of advice and wisdom he may offer her.

"He needs you, more than you possibly know. Right now, he's lost. All he knows is his name and who his father is. Before you came in, Jackie spoke to him and he doesn't have any recollections of his life or any other people. Including his mother. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but at least he has you to help him. I've seen how devoted you are to him, and the love you share. It's not something we all can certainly find in a lifetime.

"So, my only advice and suggestion is to be the Simran he's always known. Be there for him. Guide him, answer any questions he has about your life together. I can guarantee you, it'll all come back to him."

Simran nodded, taking in his kind words. Yes, she knew that they had their fair share of struggle. After all, it was Raj that not only helped her out of her marriage to Kuljit, but also made her father realize he'd love her more than any other man. Proving to them over and over during their courtship he was the better suitor. If Raj could do that for her, then certainly she could do the same for him.

A small smile escaped her lips, recalling those days when she and Raj would stay up until late at night on the terrace simply talking or being in each other's company. No words were needed to be exchanged, just their presence was enough. She softly chuckled at how many times Raj would tease her, but lovingly embrace her and kiss her, apologizing for his rash behavior.

"I never told anyone this, not even to my children," she began. "But there was a moment where Raj was going to whisk me away from my arranged marriage the night before the wedding."

"Really?" Dr. Carter asked, a small smile on his lips, glad to see some color on her features.

She nodded. "My grandmother was slowly passing and her last wish was to see me married. So, naturally, the wedding was preponed to the next day. That night, when Raj and I met on the terrace, away from everyone, all I wanted to do was bash him. Tell him over and over again that we should've run away when we had the chance. That we should've left when my mother offered, that she would've helped us elope while she dealt with the aftermath. But my husband, the big-hearted man that he is, persevered. He told me, 'I may not know what will happen tomorrow, but just know whatever I'm doing is for us.'

"It was at that moment when I decided I couldn't live without him. I couldn't imagine my life with anyone else. Without him, I don't think I'll be able to live fully without him by my side. I silently cried the entire night, staring at this photo he and I took during our Eurotrip just before he played a prank on me. A bride should be happy the night before her wedding, and here I was, contemplating what was going to happen in those next few hours." She turned to Dr. Carter, determination etched in her eyes, knowing if the roles were reversed, her Raj would do anything to have her back.

"What are my options?" she asked.

Dr. Carter smirked. "I'm going to refer you to a couple of neurologists and a psychologist. If his condition doesn't improve with their therapies, then we'll take the next step."

Simran nodded in understanding, knowing this was the right thing to do.

"But first," Dr. Carter began. "You need to go and see your husband."

* * *

Her legs shook with each step she took towards the door. She knew she'd be bombarded with questions, but she wasn't sure what kind of reception she would receive from Raj. Would he be open and willing to learn? Or would he shut her out and not want to hear anything from her?

After having a heart-to-heart with Dr. Carter, he warned her his initial reaction would be either mixed with anger and stubbornness about his memory loss, or a willing character that would like to know about his life. Either way, Simran knew she had to be patient with him. After all, he was her husband and would move heaven and earth for her. So, it was simple she would do the same for him.

Yet, she couldn't fathom how this had happened. Why? Was it karma coming back for Raj from lying to her family all those years ago about their courtship? Or was it happenstance for Raj to get hit by a moving truck? Whatever the cause may be, she knew she had to be strong and supportive. From what she learned about Raj's condition, he wasn't at a full memory loss. The questions he answered earlier with Dr. Carter seemed he knew superficial facts and details; his name, where he was born, and his father. What irked her, though, was there was no mention of their life together at all. For the first time, she was slightly envious of her father-in-law being easily recognized by Raj. It irked her that her husband can easily share a connection with his father than with her.

Biting her bottom, she internally chastised herself. Knowing full well it was some progress Raj easily remembered Pops. At least there was that, she figured. She also knew this was something she needed to wait to tell the children about. They would be stunned and disturbed to hear about Raj's amnesia, but with them at school right now, they were allowed to be ignorant for this moment.

Reaching the door, she stood outside for a moment, taking a deep breath, attempting to calm her erratically beating heart. Telling herself over and over again to breathe, that there should be no expectations when speaking with Raj. For all she knew, he could still have the personality that she fell in love with; charming, witty, funny and loyal. All she had to do was open the door and let herself in, knowing this was a risk she needed to take.

And she did just that – lightly knocking the door before allowing herself to enter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: We Have to Stick Together**

Simran looked around the room, stunned to see the bed empty with no hint of Raj anywhere in sight. For a moment, she panicked he had escaped the hospital, running away from the pressure whatever life he created with her demanded of him. Or possibly the fact he wanted to discover himself in his own terms and way. Whatever it was, her heart lurched in her throat, her mind whirring over images and details conjuring up, concerned for her husband's safety and regard.

She was soon relieved to hear the flushing of the toilet in the connected bathroom, sighing in relief. Emerging from it was Raj wearing gray sweatpants and a black cotton t-shirt.

"Oh," he gasped, slightly stunned to see her in his room.

"Hello," Simran tentatively greeted, slightly biting her bottom lip, unsure how to approach her husband. She scoffed at the thought, now fully realizing that to him she was just a stranger, while to her he was practically her life.

"I…uh, I didn't realize you'd come back so soon," Raj then said, avoiding her gaze as they stood awkwardly more than arm's length apart. Unsure what to do or say to one another.

"I'm sorry - "Simran began.

"I was – "Raj started.

They chuckled at their clumsy start of the conversation. Raj motioned with his hand for her to continue and let her lead the conversation.

Simran weakly smiled in thanks. "I was going to say I'm sorry for the way I ran off earlier. It just…well, it just came as a shock for me."

Raj chuckled. "Believe me, finding out that not only am I in my early fifties, but have been married for more than twenty years was a shock to me too. But I do want to apologize as well," he offered.

Simran raised a brow, curious. "For what?"

"For asking such a blatant question to you earlier. It's obvious that you weren't told…"

"I was so worried about you," Simran intervened. "For nearly a month, I was here day and night, waiting for the moment that you'd wake up and we could go back to our lives. Meanwhile, I'd scold you countless times to never ride that motor bike ever again," she smiled at the thought.

Raj ruefully chuckled. "And here I was, concerned that you had run away completely."

She shook her head, and looked down at her fingers, playing with them, wondering what to say next or even how to go about this. It's not every day one's husband wakes up from a coma with complete memory loss.

"Would you – would you like to sit?" Raj gently offered, unsure what to do. Rubbing his hand behind his neck, shy and uncomfortable with the awkward silence.

Simran slowly nodded and sat down on the chair beside his bed. Raj sat on his bed, unsure whether being this close to her was acceptable or not. Before he thought better of it, he started taking in his wife's features – raven black tresses that seemed soft to the touch, honey colored skin with a few fine lines around her eyes showing her age, her misty green eyes that could tell a story. He noted there was an evergreen beauty about her, her features soft and natural, it was hard not to be smitten by her. He wondered if this is what he first noticed about her when they met.

When they met…Raj blanched at the thought. The first meeting, surely that was important. After all, this was the most important part of their story. Maybe if they start talking about it, something inside his brain would certainly trigger, right?

"I'm sure you're wondering how we met," Simran began with a small smile.

Raj smirked. "Pretty much. Although, it's funny…" he mused.

"What is?"

"You knew exactly what I was thinking. I mean, it makes sense seeing as we've been together for so long," Raj quickly added.

"Oh, I'd say there's more to that," she added cryptically.

"Really?"

Simran chuckled. "I've always known what you were thinking since the day we met. You're hardly a closed book, Raj." She playfully added.

"We met on a Eurotrip in 1995," Simran began. "I was rushing to catch the train at King's Cross and there you were, just boarding and spotted me running. You held your hand out for me and I tightly grabbed it as you pulled me aboard the train. We – we ended up getting stuck together in an empty cargo," she laughed at the memory. "And you shamelessly tried flirting with me. First, telling me that the door to the next cargo was locked, then finding my…well, you found an undergarment that accidently popped out of my suitcase," she blushed at the recollection of him finding her white, lacey bra. "Then you couldn't stop scooting yourself closer and closer to me. Telling me how my eyes reminded you of your grandmother, if I go to parties and picking at me that I was reading my book upside down just so I could avoid you. I thought you were so annoying.

"You finally stopped when my friend, Sheena, casually opened the door and I knew you were just a flirt trying to have your way with me just by how you quickly started flirting with her." Simran laughed thinking back to those days; how young, innocent and a little naïve they were when they first met. Graduating from university and being whisked off to marry her arranged fiancée in India was what she thought the next of her life would be. Not meeting Raj, certainly.

Yet, when she glanced over to him, wondering and secretly hoping that this tale rang any kind of bells for him, all she noted was his concentrated expression; brows furrowed, lips pursed, thinking hard on attempting to conjure those memories in his mind.

"Does this sound familiar to you at all?" she then asked.

Raj closed his eyes, hoping by concentrating hard enough, the memories would trigger something inside of him. He deeply sighed in frustrating as nothing came of it.

"No," he then said, looking away from her and her loving gaze. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Of course! What would you like to talk about?"

"Well, for starters, I'm assuming we have children."

Simran smiled. "We do. Two; a boy and girl. Their names are Anjali and Rohan."

"And…and I've been a good father to them?" he questioned, wondering if this was something that needed to be answered. Judging by the way Simran was to him earlier, it's very possible his children adored him as well.

"Oh, the best, Raj," Simran confirmed, tears lightly pricking her eyes. "Sometimes I feel they love you more than me. But, I guess that goes to show who's more authoritative in our house."

Raj smirked, amused to hear this. Then again, if he shamelessly jerked and flirted with her in their initial encounter, it's highly possible he was the fun-loving parent.

"Can I ask you something?" Simran then said, intervening his thoughts.

"Yes," he answered.

"They told me you clearly remember your father, Pops, but you don't have any recollections of your mother and anything else. May I ask…how is that even possible?"

Raj helplessly shrugged. "I saw him and just knew it was Pops. But, every time I tried thinking about my mother, I can't seem to picture her."

"She died when you were very young," Simran added. "You hardly mention her but have always said that whatever you are today is because of her."

Raj ruefully chuckled. "Well, as of right now, I hardly know who I am or what my life has been like."

Simran offered him a gentle, kind smile before daring to reach out and lightly pat his hand. Reveling the skin on skin contact with him. Raj looked down at her hand, stunned she was touching him again, yet the warmth and feel of her soft, smooth skin was a comfort to him. At least he knew he would not be alone when it came to his recovery.

"So, I guess you and I met and after a beat, we fell in love. Am I right?" Raj asked, smirking at the thought.

Simran made a small face, knowing exactly it was far from that when it came to their story. "Hardly," Simran responded. "But we'll get there. Dr. Carter had told me when need to take baby steps with you. Otherwise, inundating you with all this information could cause an awful headache."

"We wouldn't want that, do we?" Raj smirked, looking playfully at her.

Simran smiled and shook her head. "No, we wouldn't. But I do have an idea."

"Oh?"

"How would you feel about meeting your children?"

* * *

She knew by their stunned expressions this was something neither of them had expected. Then again, neither did she. Simran watched her children slowly process the information of Raj's amnesia, yet the more she explained, she noted the harder it was for them to comprehend it. Maybe they're in denial, she figured. Or maybe it was something that seemed beyond their comprehension. Whatever it was, she didn't blame them for asking the obvious questions – he doesn't remember a thing? How is that possible? Will the memories come back? Does he even know you who are?

Simran ruefully sighed to Anjali's blatant question. She frowned, forlornly shaking her head. "No, sweetheart," she answered. "I'm afraid he doesn't."

Anjali softly gasped. "Oh, Papa!" she sniffed, quickly wiping away any tears she might've shed.

"What can we do?" Rohan quickly asked. "There must be something we can – "

"You can start by introducing yourselves and answering any questions he might have," Simran quickly answered. "Your father needs us and our support. If we are to get through this as a family, then we need to stick together and be there for him."

"But, Mama, what if…what if…" Anjali tried all her might to ask this very question. Gulping down her emotions, controlling her tears and the very fear that gripped her heart. "What if he doesn't remember us at all?" she softly asked.

It was the one thought and question Simran had feared the most since finding out the news. She, too, had wondered the very same thought. And while heartbreaking and wrenched it might be, she couldn't – no, she wouldn't entertain the thought.

Simran fervently shook her head. "No," she determinedly said. "Let's not even think about that. Your father will remember. He has to."

The very next moment, Simran and the children walked into Raj's room and introduced Anjali and Rohan to Raj as if they were meeting for the first time. It was awkward and strained at first, just as their meeting had gone, but soon it quickly came to a comfortable conversation. Raj asked various questions about them; when their birthdays were, their favorite hobbies, and, most importantly, their favorite memory and any kind of special bond they shared.

Simran smirked, happy to see Raj talking animatedly with Rohan.

"You and I always love a good prank," Rohan added with a smirk. "I was probably five and we played a prank on Grandpops by placing a whoopee cushion on his chair one night during dinner. I don't think Grandpops never turned redder before in his life."

Raj chuckled, envisioning Pops' face turn a bright shade of red from the cushion. He found he could bond easily with Rohan. Maybe it was the fact that they were similar – as Rohan and Simran stated he had a love for playing pranks and joking around. While he did his best to speak to his children, a splitting headache was coming on. Possibly from all the information he was recieing or the fact that both of them looked so much like him. He could've sworn at least Anjalil might have some of Simran in her. Yet, he couldn't get over how similar they looked. The only difference was her attitude compared to Rohan's. In fact, he noted she was mum the entire conversation.

While Rohan spoke animatedly, using his hands and trying to lighten the situation, Anjali was pensive and hardly spoke. He noted her deep, soulful brown eyes, very much like his, carefully assessing and observing him.

Simran, too, noted Anjali's quiet, observant behavior. She knew her daughter wasn't the biggest talker. Always silent and perceptive of others, only speaking when it was important. She had figured by bringing the kids here, Anjali would do everything she could to help Raj's condition. However, the opposite occurred.

When there was a moment of silence between them, Simran decided to step in. "Anjali? Don't you want to answer any questions to your father?"

Anjali looked to Simran then Raj. Their brows furrowed in concern. Shaking her head in dismay, fighting the tears threatening to burst, she quickly stood up, nearly knocking over the chair.

"I'm sorry, I just can't," she gasped, covering her mouth with her hand, fighting the breakdown ready to finally be released. She darted out of the room, her whimpers and soft cries heard just before the door shut close.

Simran heavily sighed, empathizing with her daughter. It was just as hard, if not harder, for her. Slowly standing up from her seat, she knew she had to comfort Anjali before Rohan stood up and placed his hand to stop her.

"Don't worry, Mama, I'll go talk to her," Rohan said before running out of the room to catch up with Anjali.

Simran gratefully smiled to Rohan, hoping maybe with his talk Anjali would be comforted and feel ready to face the reality of the situation.

"I'm sorry about that," Simran began. "I didn't think she'd take it this hard."

Raj shrugged. "Don't be. Though…I can see a pattern here," he ruefully chuckled.

Simran raised a brow and wryly smiled to him, unsure what he meant. "What do you mean?"

"The women in this family have a knack for crying. Is it in the genes or something?"

For the first time in weeks, Simran laughed. It wasn't a laugh that reached her eyes or made her belly ache. It was a simple soft laughter, making her feel lighter and positive about their situation. For she recalled many, many years ago Raj made the same humorous remark after he gave his reason for not eloping to Lajjo. If saying simple things like that was easy for him, then surely the memories will quickly fall in line, right?

* * *

Pacing through the corridors, hoping to catch sight of her, Rohan spotted Anjali just around the corner, her hand over her mouth, muffling her cries.

"Hey," Rohan softly whispered to her, coming to her side.

"Oh, Rohan," Anjali whimpered, grabbing on to him. "How did this even happen? Why?"

"I know, I know, sis. It came as a shock to me too," Rohan added, soothingly rubbing her back.

Anjali sniffed, quickly whipping away her tears as she let go of her brother. "I don't understand…it's like I see him. He's there but he just…there's no recognition in his eyes."

Rohan could only nod, empathizing with her. "I know. But it's like Mama said, we have to stick together. That's the only way this is going to work. We need to be strong."

Anjali could only nod in response, yet she couldn't shake her earlier thoughts. The very fear that gripped her earlier still took residence in her heart. She knew her brother was trying to be strong and positive about the situation, as should she. But the dark, forlorn cloud still loomed over her; the one thought and fear she couldn't escape still held her – what if Raj doesn't remember at all?

* * *

Naturally, the whole family came to find out later that day about Raj's condition, and while everyone wanted to come see him, Simran discouraged it completely. After her conversation with Dr. Carter earlier, it was best Raj slowly ease into meeting the family, and not be inundated with seeing one person after another. It would not only cause distress but confusion, or worse, no progress at all.

While Simran did everything she possibly could those next couple of days since Raj awoke – stopping by for lunch, answering any of his other questions – making sure he was comfortable with her presence and who she was to him, she noted something rather off about him. It was as though he was present but not fully there. His eyes were vacant, he wasn't as charming or witty as he was, worst of all, he hardly touched her. It was as though he was afraid of something he couldn't explain to her.

When Simran brought this up on the day of Raj's discharge to Dr. Carter, she internally knew the answer but wanted to confirm it herself.

"Simran, he's lost," Dr. Carter explained. "You've told him that he's not only a husband and father, but after hearing what you and your children have told him, he now feels the need to live up to that high pedestal."

"But I'm not asking him to!" Simran argued, frustrated her suspicion was confirmed. "I only want him to feel comfortable and be able to talk to me, like we used to," she muttered the last part.

Dr. Carter ruefully sighed. "Simran, I know this is hard, but I have to reiterate this to you: he doesn't know who you are, let alone know himself. It's what we've discussed before, one step at a time and the memories will slowly come back. When you bring him home, begin to show him pictures, talk about other things that you both have gone through. How your days would play out. It will come back."

Simran could only nod, frustrated and unsatisfied with his answer. She knew she was being petulant about this, but her patience was being tested. Yes, it has been only two days since discovering his amnesia, and by some stroke of luck she had hoped the memories would start coming back.

"There is a faster way that things could progress," Dr. Carter slyly added.

Simran's ears perked up at this, curious what the man was suggesting. Anything, she desperately, anything that could speed this up.

"Oh? Like what?" she asked.

She watched Dr. Carter purse his lips, possibly internally debating whether to make this type of recommendation. "There have been studies to show that _excitement_ can get the memories to come back," he slowly began.

"Excitement?" she questioned.

"By that I mean arousal. If you can get him aroused, there's a big chance that memories will pop up."

Simran's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, stunned by his suggestion. "Dr. Carter, my husband can barely touch me and you want me to…to…" she couldn't even bring herself to say it, her face warming at the thought of being in bed with Raj and doing such things to him just to spur the memories back. It was bad enough he was distant with her, but to force herself upon him…was that something she was capable of? It took a long time for her to feel comfortable about sex, even still she had a decorum when discussing it with others.

Dr. Carter simply shrugged. "It's only a suggestion. I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable, but that is one way of doing things. The choice is, of course, yours. However, as we've discussed earlier, I'm recommending him to a neurologist and a therapist. They'll help with Raj's recovery. Dr. Talwar will be your therapist and they're the top in the field. You'll be in good hands with them."

Simran could only nod, dazed and conflicted about Dr. Carter's risqué advice. While she had missed Raj terribly, this was something they needed to mutually consent about. She wouldn't want to push him and she was sure he didn't want to do something she was uncomfortable with.

When the time came for Raj to enter his home after his long, overdue stay at the hospital, he floored to see the big house. In the back of his mind, he knew he still lived with Pops and could recognize the street leading up to the house along with other landmarks in Hampstead. Tentatively walking in, he slowly took in the surroundings; a grand chandelier hanging from the high ceilings, framed pictures hung about of him and their family. Taking his time to peruse each photograph, he observed the photos ranging from when he and Simran were young; doughy cheeks, scenic backgrounds and so much hope and love filled in their eyes. To pictures of their children and the like scattered about. He soon found himself staring at one picture of an older man with streaks of gray hair and a small smile on his face. And while Raj initially found his features strong, authoritarian and demanding, there was a small fleck of kindness in his eyes.

"Who is this?" Raj asked, pointing to the picture of the older gentleman.

Simran wryly smiled, walking up to Raj and the photo that not only held a special place in her heart but in their home, as well. "That is Chaudhary Baldev Singh. My father, or as Chutki and I affectionally called him 'Bauji'. He passed away a few years ago."

"I'm assuming he and I got along right from the beginning if he holds such a special spot amongst all these photos," Raj mused, still staring intently at the photo of his late father-in-law.

Simran frowned, debating whether she should tell him that they certainly did not. In fact, Bauji wasn't a fan of Raj due to the treatment of their first meeting at his store. However, before she revealed the important detail to him, Raj stopped at another picture she was sure would trigger something, anything, in his head. It was the very first picture they had taken together. Just before Raj played that silly prank of squirting water in her face from the flower he was giving her. Supposedly, as an apology for his brutish behavior in Paris the previous evening.

She watched him internally observe the picture, wondering what he was thinking. Taking in his appearance of wearing a simple day khaki suit she brought from home that still fit him well, the stubble she had trimmed countless times still evident with flecks of gray scattered about, and a small bandage on his head that covered the healing wound on his head. After everything he had gone through, he still looked just as handsome and dashing to her as the day they met.

"Is something wrong?" she then asked, noting his intense expression.

Raj intently gazed at the photograph, seeing something he had noticed but never fully realized. For some odd reason, this picture shook him to his core. Was it a memory coming back to him? Or a false memory he was conjuring in his head to make up for the fact he didn't recall the moment at all? Dr. Carter had warned him about such incidents but reassured him this was the process of healing.

"Was this…was this the first picture we had taken?" Raj then asked, still gazing the photograph.

Simran smiled, slightly relieved he had figured out that moment on his own. "Yes," she confirmed. "This was taken in Paris. We were on our way to Switzerland that night."

Simran had recalled that very photo was shredded to pieces weeks later by Bauji's hand after finding out their affair. Afraid the photograph was forever lost, until Sheena slyly revealed she had doubles of all their pictures from that trip after they arrived back to London.

Raj only nodded in confirmation but asked nothing further about the photograph. He still questioned why that picture had shaken him. An intense, pounding sensation vibrated through his head, feeling the slight tinge of a headache coming on. He couldn't look anymore at the pictures, shaking his head in dismay, he pleadingly looked to Simran, hoping she could understand what he was going through.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, avoiding her questionable gaze. "I just can't look at this right now. It's a bit…too much."

Simran could only nod. As much as she wanted to push him to look at the photos, to see the life they had built and force him to remember, she stopped herself. Knowing better than to force anything he didn't want, she stayed quiet and led him further into the house with the entire family awaiting them.

Raj easily recognized Pops, relieved to see his father there. But the sensation of the headache he felt earlier soon started to swirl in his head from the amount of people he was being introduced to. Yes, he found it endearing his sister-in-law and brother-in-law looked to him with respect and reverence, calling him _"Jee-jaa"_. His elder mother-in-law gazed him with love and adoration as if he was her own son. Softly saying to him, "I'm so glad you're home, my son."

And while this was all well and good, he couldn't escape the thought pressing him for the past few days. He knew he is Raj Malhotra, but how was he to live up to these people's expectations? Hardly knowing them, yet the pressure to live up to the image of who he truly was gave way to something he couldn't shake. A boulder unbeknownst to him had now been placed on his shoulders having to live up to these people's expectations. Although he did take each moment as it came, making sure he wasn't overwhelming himself, he enjoyed sitting with them, talking, having a family dinner Simran had made earlier today. Having found out she had made all his favorite food; chicken biryani, samosas, and parathas.

Simran carefully observed Raj, making sure he wasn't showing signs of being inundated with the information about his life, who each of the family members were. While she was happy he was home, she couldn't shake away the notion of a certain emptiness and fear in his eyes. As though he was saying he was unsure if he could do this, if he had the courage or the capacity to not only remember, but to live up to their family's expectations.

The evening soon ended as everyone went home, Anjali and Rohan helped clean up and went to straight to bed after entertaining their younger cousins. Pops had bid everyone a good night before climbing up the stairs to his room. While Simran was ready to sleep herself, it dawned on her whether Raj should sleep in the same bed with her tonight. Recalling Dr. Carter's shocking advice, she wondered if it was appropriate to still do such a thing after today.

Finding Raj standing in the vast backyard patio, looking up at the night sky, she contemplated to bring up the subject how their sleeping arrangements should be until he recovers from the amnesia.

"It's beautiful out here," Raj voiced, turning to find Simran standing behind him. He ruefully smiled her way, taking in her long red orange sundress and matching shawl. He, again, noted her natural beauty, the color of the dress showing off her creamy honey-toned skin. It wasn't the first time Raj realized he married a beauty, inside and out. He saw very well all the trouble she went through today to bring him home and make him feel comfortable with their family.

Simran smiled his way, walked up to him to stand beside him and gaze at the starry night sky with him. "This is one of my favorite things about this house," she began, taking a deep breath, inhaling the freshly night air. "It's far enough away from the rest of the world, but close enough where we can still see all our friends and family."

Raj placed his hands in his pockets. He so wanted to touch her soft skin, hold her in his arms and kiss her senseless. He wasn't sure why, but something inside him gravitated towards her. Although, he barely touched her, afraid he might come off as forward or a flirt. Something he didn't want her to be confused about, let alone hardly _knowing_ her. The mixed emotions he was feeling wasn't helping his situation. Here they were, he figured, standing side by side, easily accessible to reach out and simply hold her hand, yet he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"We've had a lot of birthday parties here," he finally said, attempting to make a conversation. Anything to break the silence and internal struggle he was suffering inside.

Simran raised a brow to him, hopeful something had come back to him. "Yes, we did," she confirmed, hope filling her voice. "Do you remember something?"

Raj shook his head. "No. But from all the pictures I saw earlier of Anjali and Rohan's birthday parties, they were all held outside in this yard."

Simran slightly frowned. Again, another moment she had hope he remembered something. And again, she was disappointed to find out there was nothing. It had only been two days, and she was now questioning whether this was something she could contend with. No, she stubbornly thought, Raj was still her husband and they vowed to be with each other for better or worse. Right now, he needed her guidance and support. It had only been two days! Rome wasn't built in a day, recalling what her old English literature professor would preach.

"Where…where am I sleeping tonight?" Raj finally voiced the one thought that was plaguing Simran's mind for the past few minutes.

Simran's face warmed at the thought of sharing her bed with Raj again. For over a month, her bed felt cold and lonely, not having him beside her. While the prospect of sharing their bed together again warmed her inside, she wasn't sure if this was something he was comfortable with.

"It's honestly up to you, Raj," she then said. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. This is your home, too."

"If it's all right with you, I'd very much like to sleep in our bed tonight," he revealed, gulping at the thought of being in such close proximity to her, doing his best to calm his erratically beating heart. The simple thought of feeling her curves under his hand and the warmth she radiated made him nervous.

Simran blushed, biting her lower lip in consideration before nodding and leading the way into their bedroom. Raj dutifully followed, attempting to not watch her hips slowly sway side to side, or how the ends of her hair slightly bounced while she walked.

They both changed for bed; a routine that felt normal and familiar. Once they lied in bed, Simran was careful to keep her distance from him, lying on her side, away from him, not wanting to push his limits. It was an improvement to her that he wanted to share their bed this evening, she figured. One step at a time. What surprised and comforted her further was him wrapping his arm around her waist, placing his hand over her stomach, and pushing himself closer to her to where they were spooning; her back to his front.

She waited for his breathing to even, making sure he was asleep before her emotions got the best of her. She whispered his name for confirmation that he was asleep before placing her hand over his. The warmth radiating from his hands a comfort to her before she silently shed tears she had been holding back all day.

"Please come back to me, baby," she tearfully whispered into the darkness, her hand gently rubbing the back of his hand. "Please come back. I miss you."

* * *

Running his hands through his hair, Raj nervously fidgeted, wondering if coming to see this doctor was such a good idea after all. He knew better than to fight with Simran on this matter. He knew he needed to get better.

After waking up this morning with Simran in his arms, he wasn't sure why, but he felt whole and at peace. The image of her sleeping, looking serene and calm, her head laying on his shoulder as her arms wrapped around his torso, he felt he could lay in bed all day and stare at her. It felt so natural and right having her lay in his arms.

Before he could think further on the thought of his wife, he heard his name called out by the receptionist.

"Mr. Malhotra? Dr. Talwar is ready to see you," she said.

Raj nodded and walked into the office door as the receptionist led him to his therapist's office. He soon found himself in stylishly sleek and modern office decorated all in white. A large, plush white couch at the far end just in front of a large, rectangular window looking out to the street. A small coffee table sat in front of the couch with a small glass bowl of white and light pink freshly picked roses. Raj noted there were hardly any pictures decorated amongst the walls, only shelves upon shelves of books ranging from general psychology to family therapy.

"Mr. Malhotra?" a sweet voice behind him called out.

Raj turned to find a striking woman with full lips painted red, eyes crystal blue, olive tone skin, and long light brown tresses reaching her curvaceous waist line. The woman was wearing a casual navy suit as she raised a delicate brow his way. For a moment, Raj was speechless by the woman's beauty, contemplating whether this woman was truly his therapist.

"Yes?" Raj answered, finally able to find his voice after obviously gaping at her.

The woman smiled and held out her hand for him to shake. "Please to meet you. I'm Dr. Nandini Talwar, your therapist. Please have a seat and let us begin."

* * *

 **A/N:** _Casting - Dr. Nandini Talwar played by Aishwarya Rai Bachchan_

I know, I know, I'm a little surprised by Raj's confused behavior too. He certainly threw me in for a loop!

Once again, reviews=new chapter! Happy reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** I have no excuse for the delay post except Grad school, grad school, grad school. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I actually had fun writing this, especially the last part of it.

Once again: reviews = next chapter.

 _Cast:_

 _Dr. Nandini Talwar played by Aishwariya Rai Bachchan_

* * *

 **Chapter Five: Trying to Remember**

Tapping his foot up and down for the past few minutes, Raj wasn't sure where to begin. He and his therapist, Dr. Talwar, had been staring at each other since they introduce themselves, not saying a word. While she did ask him the typical questions of his age, what he does for work and other broad details, the part where it came for him to discuss his amnesia had been muted. While he didn't find it a problem to discuss it, he suddenly became withdrawn and uncomfortable speaking about it to this woman.

He already made the assessment she was gorgeous. Her crystal blue eyes hypnotic and captivating, her long brown tresses framing her heart-shape face romantically. That wasn't the intimidating part for him. It was the fact of him opening himself up and talking about these things to a complete stranger had him nervous. He knew Simran was trying to get him to talk and possibly open up, but nothing was helping.

Since coming home from the hospital, he was to himself around the house. Taking a slow turn around the home, appraising each hung and placed photograph, furniture and item decorated. He knew, deep down, Simran was trying to be patient, but could tell just by the slight set of her jaw her patience was wearing thin. It was then, last night, after being home for two days and hardly speaking a word to anyone in the household that Simran had taken the initiative.

"I've set up an appointment for you to speak with a psychotherapist," she mentioned while applying lotion on her forearms at her vanity, getting ready to go to bed.

"Oh," Raj responded, a little stunned she hadn't consulted with him about this.

"Yes, I figured it's time that we get some outside help. Dr. Carter had suggested and made some recommendations on who you should see. Dr. Talwar is apparently highly recommended," she said.

"I see…" he quietly responded, his lips slightly pursed. He wasn't sure what to make of this. Wasn't this a discussion they should've had beforehand?

Simran watched him from her mirror and noted his thoughtful expression. Closing her eyes, she heavily sighed before turning to face her husband. She knew she was being ridiculous. A part of her wanted Raj to come back to her. Suddenly wake up the next morning, calling her by her nickname again and not deal with this nightmare. Yet, the reality was the opposite. The waiting and patience game was taking a toll on her. The pensive, quiet version of Raj was starting to not only concern her, but bother her as well.

"Raj, I'm trying to be patient, but you not talking or asking questions is not only troublesome, but becoming infuriating, "she explained. "Our children want to talk to you, but you make it seem unapproachable. I want to talk to you but I can't seem to get more than two words out of you. You need help and this is why I took the initiative. I'm sorry if you feel I overstepped your boundaries, but as your wife I couldn't help myself. Just please…try to understand that I'm doing this for all of us. This includes you as well."

Raj only nodded in response, knowing full well he wasn't being fair to them. After all, he was overwhelmed with their entire life that he could hardly believe it was his to begin with. So, he agreed and didn't make a fuss over it.

Now, here he was; still withdrawn and detached, unsure what to say or how to approach his first therapy session.

"Let's start with some basics," Dr. Talwar finally began with a small smile.

Raj sighed in relief, internally thankful his therapist decided to go with her own tactic. "All right," he said.

Nandini gave a small smile, having a small idea as to how he was feeling. It wasn't easy starting therapy and opening yourself up to a stranger. Then again, she figured, he was surrounded by them at home considering his condition. So, she knew she wanted to make him feel as comfortable as possible. Offer some coffee or tea prior to the session, ask how they are feeling and such. Little conversations and pieces to get the ball rolling.

"How has being at your house been for you?"

"It's been…" Raj ruefully chuckled, running his hand through his hair, unsure how to answer her question. "Overwhelming, I'd say."

"In what way?"

"I guess…I just didn't realize how full my life has been."

Dr. Talwar smiled. "You make it seem as though it's not a good thing," she kindly suggested.

"It is!" Raj quickly countered. "It is. I have two children who are not only respectful, but good, honest and loving individuals. And Pops…well, let's say he's the same old lovable dad."

Dr. Talwar slightly cocked her head the side, noticing a small detail missing. "And your wife? How has she been?"

"Supportive."

"Only supportive?"

Raj shrugged. "I'm not sure how to describe it."

Dr. Talwar encouragingly smiled. "Try for me."

He sighed, rubbing the palm of his hands together, wracking his brain to find a way to describe his beautiful, strong and loyal wife, Simran. "Simran…she's…she's such a loyal and loving person, that, from the moment I meet her at the hospital, I was in awe of her. But, there are times where I feel like she expects me to wake up and say, 'I'm here! I'm back from wherever I came from!' And I'm not sure I can do that."

"So, if I'm getting this straight, you feel like you're trying to live up to her expectation."

"Sometimes."

"All right. And what about the other times? How does she make you feel?"

Raj gulped, unsure if this was appropriate to mention other feelings he had for her. "I want her," he softly whispered, hoping his therapist didn't hear his slip. But Dr. Talwar only smiled, hearing his comment.

"What do you mean by that?" she asked.

"I – I want to hold her and have her in my arms," he stammered. "That first night I came home and she asked about our sleeping arrangements and what they should be, I just felt this kinship towards her. As though, I cannot not have her in my arms. That if I wasn't holding her, something would feel off inside of me. And well…there are other thoughts in my head besides just being close to her."

"Such as?"

Raj sighed, uncomfortable if he should be discussing this with a woman. Then again, he figured, this was therapy. Gender norms are out the window here.

"I want to be…intimate with her," Raj finally stated, struggling to find the words.

Dr. Talwar simply nodded, but was pleased to hear him say how he felt about being around Simran. "I had a conversation with your wife earlier to understand what has been going on at home…"

"Oh?"

She nodded in confirmation. "Yes. I have to say, though, what she states is different. You've been withdrawn and very much to yourself. Hardly speaking and interacting with your family. So, hearing this has me a little confused. May I ask if you're afraid of something?"

Raj wasn't sure what to make of this. He knew those things and he also knew what a disappointment he was already becoming. Yet, at the same token, he was trying. Wasn't he?

"I just…don't know what to say, how to even describe it."

"Try," she encouraged with a soft smile. "Raj, I don't ever want you to feel nervous or shy about telling me anything. This room is your space to release any feelings, resentment, emotions, anything at all. In fact, I encourage all my patients to speak to me about things that are tough for them to talk about with others. And I can tell you, with a little time and effort, not only will the memories return, but with your confidence, be able to be yourself again.

"So," she continued, "tell me about how you feel about Simran. What do you think is holding you back?"

"I don't want to push her into anything she doesn't want to do," he said after a moment.

"All right," she nodded. "What else?"

"That…I'll be a disappointment. That…I there's a part of me where I feel as though the memories that we've shared and the life I've built with her will never come back. That this amnesia will not go away. That…that I won't be _her_ Raj. I hear her softly crying herself to sleep for the past couple of nights, saying 'Come back to me, Raj. I miss you,'" he quietly admitted the last part, blinking away any tears threatening to spill. "And it…I'm such a disappointment to her because I can't remember."

Dr. Talwar only nodded, pleased to finally extricate the needed information from him. Her heart did go out to the couple. After being married for over twenty years and the struggles they've gone through. Of course, to Raj's perspective he had a boulder on his shoulders to remember. Not exactly the best feeling to have when trying to remember a life, she internally considered.

Sitting up straighter, she knew what she could do to possibly help the memories and bond the couple shared. It was simple and easy feat and challenges for him. One that she knew Raj would be confident with.

"Feeling as though you need to hold up to some high pedestal is a great challenge and feat," she began. "But I don't think it's impossible. In fact, I think it's a good start, in my humble opinion. Your desires for your wife are not just physical but on an emotional level. You've seen her be kind and considerate towards you from the very beginning. Her heart, in your perspective, is full of love and loyalty towards you. She gave me some details about your past and how you met; a romantic tale, indeed," she smiled at the thought. "But, like with everything else in life, we must strive through the troubles to get to the main goal. And our main goal is this: I want you to start connecting with your family. Watch some old home videos and find any pictures. See if those items would jog some kind of memory," she suggested.

Raj nodded. "All right."

"Also, for homework, I want you to take your wife out on a date."

Raj perked at this suggestion, slightly stunned at such a bold suggestion. "A what?" he asked, perplexed.

"A date. If you have this type of feelings for your wife and feel some kind of connection or, say chemistry with her, then simply ask her out on a date. I guarantee you the more time you spend with Simran, the more chances the memories will start to flow. Oh, and one other suggestion…"

"Yes?"

Dr. Talwar pursed her lips, considering whether this was a good idea at all. She had read several studies about this and knew the chances would work, however, as a woman, she wasn't sure if it was wise for the couple to do this. As an Indian woman herself, she was sure this was something many would either shun or not consider at all due to their feelings on the subject.

"Well, for starters, Dr. Carter had made the same recommendation to your wife, but it needs to be said to you, regardless. Physical intimacy also helps to attain the memories, as well," she stated, using her clinical tone after a moment.

Raj's eyes slightly widened, surprised to hear this coming from his therapist and knowing full well their heritage and culture. While he didn't object to the idea, he knew he would never do anything Simran wasn't comfortable with doing. Although, now knowing Simran was given the same advice from his physician spoke volumes to him. It wasn't that she was shy about sex – it was the fact she didn't want to push him into doing something he didn't want to do. That's why she asked about the sleeping arrangements, he quickly figured, she wasn't sure how he would feel about being so close to her having hardly knowing her.

Yet, a pressing thought occurred to him – how was he to bring the subject up?

* * *

The sound of a childish giggle caught her attention when Anjali arrived home from her full day of classes. It was an escape studying away at campus, not being home in an awkward environment with Raj hardly speaking to any of them and his reclusive behavior. Her father was never one to be reclusive; always chatting animatedly away and laughing or teasing any members of his family and friends. Her father was always the light that shined bright in their world. Yet, now with his current condition, the opposite was occurring. Home-life was taking an emotional toll on her and Rohan.

On a typical day, they'd usually have lunch around the same time and would sit near each other with their group of friends since they were close in age. However, today, Rohan and Anjali decided to be alone. The feel of needing to talk about what was going on at home was prevalent. They needed to vent their feelings and frustrations out on each other, and possibly figure out a way to make their father remember. Otherwise, with the way was Raj behaving now, nothing would come of it.

"I'm not sure what we can do," Rohan said, running his hands through his hair, frustrated by the whole situation. "Every time I try to talk to him, to ask him if he wants to bond or anything, he just shrugs and walks away. It's as though he's not even trying."

Anjali forlornly nodded, empathizing with her younger brother.

"Does he even want to remember?" he exasperated, shoving his lunch aside, his appetite dissipated.

"A part of me thinks he's a little lost," Anjali then said. "Like he doesn't know where to begin."

"Then he should ask questions! He's not even talking to Grandpops. I'm just glad Maa pushed him to go to therapy. Maybe those sessions will help."

Anjali stayed silent for the remainder of their lunch together. She empathized with Rohan, and somewhat felt her mother's heartache over Raj's behavior and ill-attempt at trying to remember. Yet, she had an inkling why this was hard for her father. The pressure was too great. The life he and Simran had made almost too picture perfect. Though, she knew Rohan was right. It wasn't fair on any of them on how Raj was handling his condition.

But, it came as a surprise to her when she arrived home, tentatively walking in to find Raj sitting on the couch, and watching home videos on the large television. Softly walking into the living room just behind Raj, she watched, captivated, of the video. It was the day after Rohan was born; Simran sitting up in her hospital bed cradling her new baby brother. She recalled Grandpops held the camera as Raj perched her toddler self on his hip, excited for them to meet.

"He's little," young Anjali noted, her tiny nose scrunched up in confusion.

"Yes, sweetheart," Raj confirmed. "But with Mama and Papa's care, he will grow to be big and strong just like you."

The older Anjali was rooted to her spot, intently watching her Papa's back as he sat and watched the scene unfold.

Raj didn't know what to make when he decided to watch old home videos. When Pops had purposefully pointed the collection of videos and DVDs, he knew what his father was trying to do – start watching and something might pop up. Yet, while Raj watched, it did seem familiar. The hospital room, the way his youthful eyes glowed with love and adoration for his family. Even watching little Anjali scrunch her face, concentrating on the fact that this little being was her brother. It all looked…familiar.

"Papa, where do babies come from?" young Anjali offhandedly asked.

Raj laughed out loud as he watched his and Simran's stunned expression on the screen as he heard Pops chuckle in the background.

"Why don't we save that question for another time, baby?" Simran deflected, needing her daughter to focus on meeting her new baby brother.

"What's his name?" she then asked.

"Rohan," Raj answered. "Want to give him a kiss?"

"Okay," she hesitantly replied, unsure if she should disturb a sleeping baby.

Raj sturdily held Anjali in his arms as she leaned over and lightly pecked Rohan on his forehead causing him to squirm from the sensation and open his black, beady eyes to assess the new face.

"Hi, Rohan!" Anjali happily said. "I'm Anjali and I'm your sister. Nice to meet you."

Raj watched as he noted the shared expression of love and adoration from Simran and himself as their little girl became curious about her sibling. The scene then cut to just Simran and Raj as they bonded over their newly born son.

"Who do you think he looks like?" Raj fondly asked as he held Rohan in his arms.

"I'm not sure. I'd say a little bit of me, more of you."

Raj knowingly smirked. "You said the same thing about Anjali."

Simran smiled. "Is it so bad I want both my children to look like their father?"

He shook his head. "I already know they'll have your good heart, Senorita."

A sniff caught Raj's attention from behind. He quickly turned his head around and found Anjali rooted to her spot, her gaze transfixed on the screen as tears welled her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Anjali quickly said, wiping away any tears threatening to spill. "I – I didn't realize that you…I'm sorry."

Anjali quickly turned away, chagrin she was caught by Raj. She knew she was being ridiculous, wistfully crying over a love and family that now seemed to be lost.

"Wait!" Raj called out.

Anjali stopped in her tracks, curious to what he had to say.

"I – I was wondering if you wouldn't mind watching with me," Raj then said, his head down and his hands in his jean pockets. "Maybe you could tell me about some events that happened and any other pictures we had taken as a family."

Anjali raised a brow, curious and surprised that, for the first time in days, he was finally pushing himself to remember. She nodded in agreement and walked over to the couch and was stunned to find pictures splayed out all over the coffee table.

"How did you know where to find these?" she asked.

Raj shrugged. "Pops showed me where we keep all the home videos and family albums. I figured, after today's therapy session, I'd take a look. There's a lot," he mentioned.

Anjali nodded as she picked up one photo and fondly smiled at the memory. It was from Rohan's preschool graduation. Him looking cute in his little cap and gown, his dimples very much like Raj's as she, Raj and Simran stood around, all so proud and happy of the occasion. She remembered that day very well. How fidgety she was during the ceremony, complaining it was long, and the excitement she felt when she saw a cake was out for all the parents, children and guests were to have afterwards.

"This was from Rohan's preschool graduation," Anjali said as she sat down next to Raj. "I think I was six or seven years old in this picture."

"You look so much like Simran," he fondly commented as he gazed at the photo of the young girl wearing a yellow summer dress and her black hair in a ponytail with a small, matching yellow ribbon.

"Actually, people would always say I look more like you," Anjali said. "But, I think that's because I have your dimples."

Raj chuckled as he gazed longer into the photograph, now noticing the young girl's small dimple on her left cheek. "Ah, I see it now. Anything particular happened this day?"

"Only that I wanted to eat the cake badly and you told me to behave," Anjali giggled. "We were only supposed to have one piece each, but you slid me and Rohan an extra piece."

Raj smirked. "That does sound like something I would do. All right, what about this picture?" Raj then asked, picking up another photograph.

For the next hour, it was just as so – Raj selecting one photo after another and Anjali answering his questions about the events surrounding the picture and who was who. For the first time, in days, Anjali actually enjoyed herself; laughing with her Papa about some funny story as Raj laughed along. This was simple and easy, he figured. He found he was bonding with his eldest daughter and getting to truly know her. If this was simple and easy with Anjali, he thought, then surely being with Simran alone wouldn't be so bad. Sure, the memories weren't there exactly, but he was trying. That's all that mattered. Now, all he had to do is work up the courage to ask his wife out on a proper date.

* * *

Simran heavily sighed as she received another email from one of her students. Reading the email again, she knew majority of her students had not only missed her but were curious about her husband's recovery. So far, the only person in her department that knew of Raj's condition was the Dean, Dr. Sam Wainwright. He was generous enough to give her the necessary time off until Raj was back to himself. Having called him yesterday and break the news she will not be returning for the remainder of the semester.

"Simran, is everything all right there?" he asked in concern over the phone. "I understand family is important and you should be there with your husband at all times. But, as your friend and colleague, I am concerned for his well-being…"

"Sam, Raj is…he's…" Simran bit her bottom lip, unsure how to word this to not only her boss but friend, too.

"Yes?" he gently pressed.

She ruefully sighed. "Raj is suffering from Retrograde Amnesia," she revealed. "I have to be with him during this time. I can work from home through one or two online classes – "

"Nonsense!" Sam insisted. "Your husband is more important. I just can't believe it! You only hear such things in stories, never in real life…"

Simran forlornly laughed, shaking her head. "Believe me, since I met Raj, my life was never normal. It's only part of the adventure."

Sam laughed in return. "Well, my dear, if you need anything, please do call me. We're all here for you."

"Yes, well…if you don't mind being discrete about this. I don't want the rest of the department knowing – "

"Consider it done, Simran. You have my full confidentiality on the matter until it's settle. Focus on your family and I'll check up on you regularly, if that's all right."

"Yes, yes, it most certainly is," Simran emphatically replied, relieved in hearing her family life would stay between them.

While it was easy to reveal this to her colleague, Simran's students were anxious of her whereabouts.

 _Hey Dr. Malhotra! Hope all is well!_

 _Hiii Dr. Malhotra! Just wanted to say hello and wish all is well with your husband!_

 _Dr. Malhotra, all of us worried that you're not coming back for the rest of term :(_ _please let us know if this is true. We miss you!_

It broke her heart that her Literature students were missing her. After all, out of all the English professors, she was regarded as the favorite one by her students' due to her material and a way of making her lectures interesting and engaging. Many would even call her their class Mom due to her nurturing nature and always having some candy or treats in her office. While she was fond of her students, her family always came first.

Shaking her head at the string of emails, lost in her own thoughts, she scarcely heard the soft knock on the door to her office. Turning her gaze away from her desktop, she was slightly surprised to find Raj standing in the doorway.

"Hello," she weakly smiled.

"Hi," he replied. "May I come in?"

She kindly smiled. "Of course! You built this office for me, so it's mine just as much as yours."

He nodded and tentatively walked in, his gaze wandering over the large office. Books upon books were neatly organized and scattered amongst the shelves lining each wall. The large desk facing the door as Simran's back was facing the window overlooking the street. He noted family pictures neatly arranged on her desk with stacks of papers on one side and a large textbook opened to a page. Raj knew Simran was a reader and taught English Literature at King's College, but seeing this…it made him smile.

"You've got quite a collection here," Raj noted with amusement.

Simran tentatively smiled. "Yes, some were from my old house that I brought over here. Others, I've collected over time."

"Do you have any favorites?" he asked.

Simran tilted her head to the side, thinking before a grinned spread across her lovely face. Raj smiled in return, eager to hear what her favorite book is. Getting up from her desk, she walked over to one of the shelves, gingerly took out one book and held it out for him.

" _Wuthering Heights,"_ he read. "Hmm…why that one?"

"I guess the tragedy of Heathcliff and Catherine's love for one another, and how their children had to suffer the consequences of their egos and stubbornness. A part of me likes to think, even after death, Catherine let go of her uptight notions and actually be with Heathcliff in the next life," she then chuckled, shaking her head. "You must think I'm some hopeless romantic," she commented.

"Actually, I don't," Raj shook his head in confirmation. A small smile played on his lips, finding a strand of hair covering her left eye and wanting very much to push it back behind her ear. Letting his fingers feel the soft silkiness of her hair between his fingers. "I think, if anything, I'd want those characters to find peace with each other after death and be with each other in the next life. It's only fair. After all, it's hard to be with the ones you want when you're bounded by society's rules and traditions. It blurs people between what ought to be done versus what should be done."

Simran gazed at Raj, her mouth slightly agape, stunned to hear his opinion. If she could bet on it, that was eerily similar to what Raj had told her many years ago when she read to him _Wuthering Heights_ when they were newlyweds.

" _Why?" he asked in frustration, running his hands through his hair. "Why can't she let go of society's hold on her and just be with Heathcliff? It isn't fair to him and her if this is what she and her brother thinks is right. Just because society and tradition say it's right, doesn't always mean it is."_

While she remembered empathizing with Raj – both having gone through something similar with Simran's family during her brief engagement to Kuljeet – she clearly didn't expect a similar reaction right now with the Raj standing in front of her.

She quickly cleared her throat, caught off-guard by his comment and biting her lower lip in contemplation. Should she say that was his similar opinion all those years ago? Or let it go and see what else would conjure up?

"Well," she began, "that's my favorite. If you'd like, we could find something to read together? Or look at more photos?"

Raj smirked, finding her discomfort awfully cute; her misty green eyes darting back and forth between him, the book or any particular spot around the office. "Actually, I was wondering if you'd…well," he nervously chuckled, his head down chagrin. "If you'd like to have dinner with me this evening?"

Simran blanched, caught off-guard by his question, or more like request. He was asking her out? On a date? She stood still for a moment, wondering if what just occurred wasn't in her imagination. Then again, he was still standing in front of her, his soulful brown eyes gazing back and forth at her, now questioning if asking her was such a good idea.

"I mean, I'll understand if you – "

"Yes!"

Raj stopped short, his heart nearly bursting out of his chest by her acceptance. "Yes?" he questioned.

Simran beatifically smiled his way, excited by the prospect of not only going out with her husband, but that he was trying. Truly trying for her. "Yes," she confirmed, still grinning. "I'll go out with you tonight."

Raj wanted to laugh with relief until he realized he had no idea where to go or what to do. "Shit!" he muttered.

"Is everything all right?"

"Yes – no – well – "he stammered. "I'm not sure what's really good around here," he revealed.

"Oh," Simran chuckled. "There's a few good places. But, my favorite is Covent Gardens," she said with a small smile. "We'd always go there for our date night."

Raj nodded, acknowledging the location for their night out. Quickly noting the time on the overhead clock, he figured they have plenty of time to get there and have dinner at a nice restaurant. "All right. How about we leave in about thirty minutes?"

Simran smiled, giddy with excitement. "Perfect. I'll quickly change and freshen up."

Raj nodded in agreement and followed her to their bedroom and picked out their attire for tonight's date. Dr. Talwar, this better work, Raj internally thought, praying just that.

* * *

The air was cool and grazed softly against their skin. Their leisure walk around the gardens, taking in the shops and vibrant scenery kept their interests as they walked in companionable silence. Dinner was simple in a popular Japanese restaurant. Interestingly enough, Raj had suggested it stating he had read good reviews browsing his phone while Simran was getting ready. She, again, arched a brow at his choice of restaurant. Maybe it was coincidence, maybe not, but it was one of his favorites as he liked to take his business meetings or a casual night of take-out food. Choosing to brush it off as merely coincidence, they soon spoke of their day and all that had been going on.

Raj took in his wife's attire of a red off-the-shoulder sweater and black skirt, showing off her honey-toned skin. Her hair parted on one side with a pin holding in in place. It was simple and elegant her attire while showing off her curves. He gulped, picturing her body and what it looked like underneath it all before brushing the thought away, quickly chastising himself for thinking such thoughts. This was a night to not only get to know his wife, but to see if he could try to remember and connect with her. Raj nervously picked out khaki trousers, gray cashmere shirt with a black sports jacket. It wasn't as if they were going to the Shard Hotel, he figured, but it was still dressy enough for a simple evening out.

"I watched some home videos with Anjali today," Raj mentioned.

"Oh? And how did that go?" she asked, curious about Anjali's part in this. As far as she knew, their children had tried and were discouraged by Raj's reclusiveness. Hearing this, though, a small swell of hope bloomed in her chest.

Raj fondly smiled as he took a bite of his salmon sashimi. "Really well, actually. We watched some videos of when Rohan was born and others of their birthdays and such. We went through some pictures of the kids, and, I have to say, they've grown quite well."

Simran smiled, pleased to hear him talk about their family. "I see Dr. Talwar's magic is slowly working," she commented.

"I wouldn't go that far, but I'd say so," he easily replied.

By the time their check arrived, Raj suggested they go out for a walk. There was much to see in Covent Gardens and while he knew he had been here before, seeing it all was still new to him. Street performers all around as they took in the open boutiques and shops. Stopping every so often to take in the performers and window shopping.

"Would you like some dessert?" Raj offered, spotting an Italian espresso shop.

Simran nodded, a small demure smile on her lips.

They walked in, his hand ghosting the small of her back, noting it was quiet with a few customers seated here and there. Gazing at the pastries displayed, Raj wasn't sure if he should order for her or ask her himself what she was thinking. To his current knowledge, he'd never gone on a date before.

"What – what are you thinking of getting?" he nervously asked.

"Mm…I think an almond croissant and a small cup of coffee sounds wonderful. What do you think?"

Raj gave a small smile. "I think that sounds great. I think I'll get myself a biscotti."

They made their orders at the cash wrap. The young lady working efficiently, warming up their dessert. When she asked how Simran would like her coffee, she was about to speak until Raj interjected.

"A teaspoon of sugar with a little cream," he easily answered.

Simran stopped in her tracks, a small gasped escaping her lips. How could he have possibly known? Suddenly, she was taken back to a time over twenty years ago at a train station in Switzerland. Here was Raj, his floppy, unruly hair bouncing his way to her, holding a cup of coffee in each hand for them. When he came to her, cheerfully announcing he brought their coffee, it was just to her liking.

" _Senorita! A teaspoon of sugar, a little cream, your coffee!" he proudly presented._

She smiled, relieved to have a little cup to tide her over during their long journey. Now, though, this was different. He remembered how she liked her coffee.

The barista busied herself with brewing Simran's coffee and handed their plates of desserts, assuring them she'd bring the small mug over. When they sat down, Simran gazed at Raj still stunned yet curious. She recounted the times she had coffee around him since his discharged from the hospital and it was hardly none. She questioned it again – how could he possibly know? Did something finally jog in his memory? Or was it merely coincidence?

She internally contemplated over and over again if she should say something. While her heart fervently wanted to, her head had told her to keep this to herself. She was sure if she'd say something, the pressure he was already feeling would add more weight to his shoulders. No, she decided, best to keep quiet and let him slowly remember on his own.

"How is the croissant?" he asked.

"It's good," she replied. "Very soft and flaky."

He smiled as he watched her slowly take apart the dessert with her delicate fingers. His eyes slowly trailed up to her face and caught a bit of the flakes on the corner of her mouth.

"You have…a bit of…" he pointed to her mouth of the bits of flake.

"What?" she questioned, attempting to find the spot of where he was pointing at.

Before logic could catch up with him, he reached out and with his thumb slowly graze over the corner of her mouth, wiping off the left-over dessert. Simran held her breath as she felt his warm hand gingerly cup her cheek. The first contact they had besides nightfall when they'd fall asleep while he held her.

Their gazes remained locked on each other; Raj not moving his hand away from her soft cheek as Simran took in his scent and warmth. For a moment, time stood still. No one was around them, their attention to the barista when she brought Simran's coffee ignored as the electric charge pulled them closer. Their gazes soon darting between their eyes to their lips, contemplating if this was right, if this should be allowed. Before Raj could think better of it, he leaned closer and softly grazed his full lips against her soft lips. Gently pressing into her, taking in her heavenly scent of summer and lavender. Open and close, open and close as their lips moved in sync. Simran sighed against his lips, soft and tender against her own. She closed her eyes and let herself be lost in this moment as she leaned against him. She missed him desperately, and wanted to press herself fully against him but thought better of it. Let him set the pace, she thought, let him not only get used to the idea of being with her, but let him slowly fall in love with her again. Maybe then, their current situation could get better.

True arousal shot through Raj, wanting nothing more than to whisk her away to a secluded spot and have his way with her. The taste of her against his lips intoxicating his mind. While the thought was tempting, he knew better than to push his luck. He'd already taken enough liberties with her; holding her while she fell asleep each night, asking her out to dinner this evening and now this. Yet this…he enjoyed, feeling her lips against his. Every sigh and whimper escaping her throat egging him on.

Finally, the moment had passed as he reluctantly pulled away from her. Her smoldering gaze on him as she slowly opened her eyes, her chest slightly heaving up and down from the gentle yet heated kiss, and her misty green eyes clouded with desire. It was a scene all too familiar to him he thought. Then again, he didn't see her wear her current outfit of the red sweater and black skirt, with one side of her hair pinned to the side. Instead, another vision came to him where she was wearing a simple pink salwar-kameez, her caramel highlighted tresses now midnight black, and her cheeks rounder. What's stranger, he thought, was they weren't sitting in a café but on a terrace looking out to a rich greenery field spanning miles and miles of land. Her cheeks were flushed as she demurely smiled.

" _I'm sorry," he soon said, looking away from her heated gaze._

" _Why?" she then asked. "I'm not."_

" _I – I took advantage of you when I should've asked," he replied._

" _Raj," she said, placing her hand over his cheek, forcing him to look in her direction. "I've wanted you to kiss me for a while now."_

" _But still…"_

" _Shh," she said, placing her finger over his lips. Lips that gently caressed against her own. Lips that made her heart flutter with excitement against her chest. It was her first kiss, ever, and she more than wanted to experience the feeling again. Especially with the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. "It certainly made up for your teasing this evening. Now, kiss me again." She playfully requested._

 _Raj proudly smirked and leaned in, more than happy to oblige._

Raj shook his head, and blinked several times, transporting himself back to the present moment. He quickly released his hand away from Simran's cheek and avoided her questioning gaze.

"Is everything all right?" she asked, concerned by his quick change of demeanor.

Raj looked away, ashamed of himself for taking advantage of the situation. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I shouldn't have done that."

"Why? I'm certainly not complaining," she smirked, her gaze playful towards him.

Raj chuckled. "Yes, but, still…I should've asked."

Simran smiled. "Even if you had, I still would've said yes."

He could only nod as the vision he had experienced played in his mind over again. Was that truly a memory? Or something he conjured up in his own imagination? A part of him wanted to confirm it with her, yet he feared she would jump at the opportunity and push him to remember something else when the process was already difficult enough. He observed Simran look away from him as she caught another set of street performers gather around the courtyard. She laughed when they jumped around, performing slapstick comedy at each other. He softly smiled at the sight, pleased to see her enjoying herself this evening. Mulling over whether to tell her or not could wait, he figured. He'd wait until something else popped up and confirm it then. Right now, he wanted to the enjoy the moment with his wife and all the possibilities these next few weeks could hold for them.

* * *

A/N: the first kiss scene between Raj and Simran was something i thought of during the deleted scene when Raj plays a prank on Simran telling her he's running away and that she should marry Kuljeet. I thought i could extend it to when they shared their first kiss ;)

Reviews=next chapter! Happy reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I am so so so so sorry for not updating as i promised! Things have been crazy the past couple of months and i promise, i am NOT abandoning this story!**

 **Just a quick shout-out to those that have reviewed the story, and my deepest gratitude and heartfelt thank you! It means so much that you are reading and reviewing to keep the story progressing.**

 **With that in mind, i will be pushing some things forward (I had initial plans for some subplots, but decided to do away for it since i felt it was slowing down the main plot).**

 **Ok, i'll leave y'all to your readings :D and happy thanksgiving! :D**

* * *

 **Chapter Six: Self-Doubt**

"This feels a bit off," Raj commented, hugging his jacket closer to his chest.

Dr. Talwar – or Nandini, as she kindly requested Raj to start calling her by – chuckled in amusement as they leisurely strolled along in Hyde Park.

It was a strange request Raj had known he'd never heard of when it comes to therapy – a session outside of the office. When he came for his appointed time, he raised a brow when he saw Nandini come out of her office wearing a white trench coat, with her long tresses elegantly down and styled and black-heeled boots.

"I'd like to do something different today," she started, a sly smile playing on the corner of her lips. "Let's take a walk in the park today. Get you feeling more relaxed and open to talk."

Raj could only nod as he gulped, glancing outside, worried he wasn't wearing the proper attire as early winter chills made its way to London.

Initially, it was a quiet walk, taking their time as they people watched before Nandini decided to formally start their session. Thinking back to last night's events, Raj contemplated whether to tell Nandini his revelation, or possibly a flashback. He wasn't sure what to initially make of it. He knew Simran had never dated or met any boys on a romantic level. Knowing this information and adding to the flashback, he deduced that was the first they ever shared on the mystery terrace along with Simran's first kiss ever.

Nandini observed Raj's pensive gaze. Based off of her experiences with her clients, she knew he was struggling with revealing intimate details of whatever he had gone through with her homework assignment. While she always encouraged her clients to be open and honest with her, she also knew that these things take time to open up. Baby steps, she thought.

"So, have you taken my advice?" she asked.

Raj nodded. "I did. Anjali caught me watching some of the home videos. I knew I lived a very full life, but seeing it is…well, it puts a lot of things in perspective."

"Such as?"

"My family…I know they genuinely care and love me, but…I'm not sure how to explain it," he struggled. "But, I think after spending time with her, I want to try and remember. Not just for them, but for me as well."

Nandini nodded and smiled at his response. "That's excellent news, Raj. I'm glad you were able to bond with Anjali. Were any memories able to form?"

Raj slowly nodded. "I'm not if it's a memory or something I conjured up…"

"You tell me what the memory was, and I'll tell you if it's something of your imaginings or not."

Raj took a moment to himself, gathering his thoughts and wondering how much he should reveal to her. In the end, he decided against formality and tell her the truth.

"Simran and I had our first date last night," he began.

"That's wonderful!" she happily exclaimed.

Raj weakly smiled. "Yes, it was," he agreed. "But…" he took a deep breath, unsure if what he was about to say was true in his mind and heart, or a fabrication of his imagination. "I _think_ I remembered something last night."

"Oh? Tell me about it," Nandini offered.

"I – I was so taken by her last night that I ended up kissing her. It was polite, while everything else screamed at me to do more, but," he helplessly shrugged, "I just didn't want to push it."

Nandini chuckled. "I can understand and respect that. Go on."

"And, well, after the kiss ended, I blinked and didn't exactly see the Simran I recognize in front of me. I saw this image in my head of her with dark brown, almost black hair past her shoulders wearing a pink salwar-kameez. We were sitting on this terrace late at night looking out into a vast field, and I apologized for kissing her. I realized that whatever vision I had, in my mind at least, I knew it was her first and our first kiss."

Raj went quiet, pondering on the very thought that kept him up all night last night. While nothing more happened when they came home from their date, it was the first night since he came home that Simran faced him when she fell asleep. She still wrapped her arms around his torso, letting his warmth and presence be a comfort to her as she fell asleep while he held her in his arms. The same question ran amok in his mind throughout the entire night just before sleep came over him – was that memory true or not? He couldn't tell, and he was slightly afraid of bringing it up to Simran, knowing her excitement would be one thing, but the pressure would be daunting for him to continue and make sure his memory would come back.

Nandini smirked at Raj's reclusiveness. She knew he was internally struggling with this particular memory. To her, it sounded very real and tangible that the event occurred. From the way he described the setting and Simran's features at the time, this could very well be a plausible memory that finally came to him.

"Nothing else came after that?" she asked.

Raj shook his head. "No, nothing else."

Nandini pursed her lips in thought. "It sounds to me a memory has formed and that it truly did happen. But, I take it you're afraid of what Simran might ask of you if you reveal this to her…"

"I just don't want to get her hopes up," he revealed. "Nandini, what if this is the only thing I can remember? I can't do that to her, to any of them."

"It's understandable," she responded. "And I can see your fear in this, but Raj, you need to tell them. At least, tell Simran. Confirm it with her that this truly did happen. Otherwise, you will have this internal battle with yourself of whether something you remembered is true or not."

Raj nodded, taking in her advice. He admitted to himself it was fear that was holding him back. So, why was he so worried? If anything, Simran should be happy.

"Have there been others?" Nandini coaxed him.

Raj shook his head. "No," he said. "Nothing else since last night."

"Well, I'm happy that this has happened. We're still in the phase of introductory and going through all the motions of this. It's a process, but I have no doubt that we will succeed," she smiled in encouragement.

Raj returned the smiling, finding her cerulean blue eyes hard to look away from. He still found it odd she was an attractive for a therapist, expecting an older gentleman to take the role. Yet, he found it comforting. She was patient, kind and nurturing in his progression. While little had improved of his memory loss, he found she was certainly his quiet cheerleader pushing him to do his best with his family.

Before Raj realized it, Nandini found a little coffeeshop they could sit and chat at. Sitting across from her, he ordered a simple cup of coffee while she had a cappuccino. They sat in comfortable silence, Nandini not dragging him to reveal anything else.

Raj then chuckled in amusement as a funny thought came to mind.

"What's so funny?" Nandini asked, a small smile playing on her lips.

"I just thought, what if your husband and significant comes here and finds us? How would it look?"

Nandini shrugged. "My _late_ husband," she emphasized, "died two years ago from cancer."

"Oh," Raj frowned. "I'm sorry. That was rude of me…"

"Don't be," Nandini intervened, a warm smile gracing her full lips. "We were married for a few years before the diagnosis came. I'm afraid his stomach aches weren't just stomach aches. But, we made the best of our small time together. I'll always carry that with me," she wistfully said.

"How did you meet?"

Nandini ruefully chuckled. "It was an arranged marriage. Our families were friends and thought what better way to progress their friendship to relations."

Raj went quiet, unsure what to make of her story. It sounded eerily familiar. Yet, the one thought that bothered him of Nandini's tale was how two families could come together and decide the future of their children without consulting them. Though, from what it sounded like, Nandini was very fond of her late husband. It was this simple thought and her striking beauty that haunted his thoughts on his way home.

* * *

She mewled and let out a guttural moan underneath him. Her slick, wet skin gliding under his strong body as her fingernails dug into his back, pleasure running up and down her spine.

" _Raj_!" Sirman groaned, relishing in his powerful thrusts.

Raj growled in response, his arms under her shoulders, holding her supple body against his. His forehead touching hers, while his body burned with desire for her. He wasn't sure where he got the nerve to do this tonight, but he didn't care. It felt too good to be inside her heated core, joined as one.

He let out a surprised gasp as Simran flipped them over, her straddling his hips, her luscious black tresses covering her evergreen features. He instinctively placed his hands over her hips and began rocking her into a rhythm he ached from her. Raj relished watching her breasts bounce up and down to their wicked rhythm, not a care in the world if this was right or wrong. There was nothing sweet or romantic about tonight; he was ravenous just as Simran was. All they needed was to release the pent-up emotions they had been experiencing in the weeks following his discharge from the hospital. Raj wanted – no, needed her far too much for him to consciously realize. These past few weeks of observing and desiring his wife had finally snapped his restraint. And she didn't mind at all.

Watching her flip her black tresses away from her face, Raj looked up and noted something odd; her familiar misty green eyes were a cerulean blue, instead. The change of that simple feature happened so quickly, he didn't realize until he blinked the next moment all of her features changed from the Simran he came to know to another woman…another woman he had begun spending a lot of time with.

"Raj!" the other woman cried out, her head falling back in ecstasy as Raj felt her inner walls clench in climax, he soon following her.

It stunned him to his core, yet he couldn't help it, when he cried out the name he wasn't expecting to escape from his lips. " _Nandini!"_

Raj gasped and sprung awake from the dream…or nightmare. He wasn't sure which. He wiped his forehead, beaded in sweat, his heart racing hard against his chest. He glanced over at Simran, still sleeping and breathing deeply, facing him with her hand resting just beside her face. _It was just a dream_ , he repeated the thought in his head. _It was just a dream…_

Shaking the vision out of his head, he gingerly got out of bed, needing something warm and soothing to calm his nerves. Milk wouldn't help, he figured, knowing he needed something stronger.

Since his last therapy session, nothing had progressed. It had been a week since he'd last had his appointment with Nandini – her being away at a conference. While he didn't mind, taking the chance to go to the office and seeing all that he had done with Pops' company. In fact, he was able to quickly pick up the running and management of the office. Raj noted Pops proud yet suspicious gaze. It was odd, Raj knew that, able to quickly recall certain facts and data, but can't recall and single scrap of memory of his own life or family.

Taking the time to spend with Rohan and Anjali, it was becoming easier to talk to them. Anjali had begun to relax around him, yet Raj still found a small frown here or there when she thought he wasn't looking. Of course, Raj knew. He knew very well it wasn't exactly the same. He was trying, he solemnly, God knows he was certainly trying.

Even taking Simran out every night for a simple date had steadily progressed. Each evening, after every date, they'd come home, have a quick nightcap with the children either asleep or away at a friend's house, and the quiet passionate would begin to stir.

It was the same every evening; Simran would laugh at a simple joke he said, he would laugh along and take note of her mysterious green eyes or attentively listen to the chime of her laughter. Before he knew it, Simran would stop laughing and glance at his lips then his eyes. Both unsure if this was even appropriate before questioning it further as they frantically smashed their lips together in a heated, passionate kiss. And it was always the same: it would intensify to tongues-dueling, fingers and hands reaching anywhere they could touch and grab on to each other before Raj would back away and apologize.

The first couple of times, Simran didn't mind. Always nodding her head, sympathetic. But lately, she would frown and look away before saying good night and going to bed. Raj even noticed she wasn't clinging on to him as they slept each night when he woke in the morning. She on her side of the bed, nearly half a foot away from him.

Finding a stash of half a bottle of cognac, Raj popped the bottle open and poured himself a decent amount, knowing the burning and warm sensation of the cognac would lull him to a dreamless sleep. At least, he hoped it would. The smooth liquid glided down his throat, letting the amber essence do exactly what it does and knock out that irrational dream of his.

"Raj?" a small voice peeped behind him.

Raj jumped up from shock and turned to the voice, finding Simran wearing a black silk camisole and robe, loosely tied around her waist, yawning from the time of night.

"Is everything all right?" she asked, nodding to the cognac.

For a brief moment, Raj wanted to tell her what had truly woke him up. That he had a dream of being intimate with another woman that was becoming important to him. But her concerned eyes. Eyes that filled with the tenderness and love for him subtly shown to him. While she may have not intentionally shown it, it was there. Guilt washed over him for having such thoughts. If anything, he internally knew this wasn't the kind of behavior his true self – the man that had remembered and been actively involved in their lives – would never do. He knew it would break her heart to have had a dream of him making love to her only for her image and body to become another woman. Shaking his head at the thought, he ruefully smiled.

"Bad dream," he replied. "I just needed something to help me fall back asleep."

She sympathetically smiled, knowing the feeling all too well. "Well, come back to bed. It may help you to go back to sleep now."

She offered her hand and he took it, letting her warmth engulf him. While the walk to their bedroom was quick, laying back down in between the sheets and settling into the slumber.

Raj smiled when Simran reached out and wrapped her arm around his waist, quickly falling back asleep. While the heavenly scent of lavender and spring invaded his senses, he felt uneasy as he still thought about a particular blue-eyed woman and curiously wondered what her scent would be.

* * *

A/N: a little shorter than usual, but i wanted to get this chapter up and loaded before i go ahead with the next. Ch 7 will be posted in 3 weeks time (you can blame finals for that lol). Happy reading and please review! :)))


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: Complications**

When did he start growing a beard? Simran curiously thought. For nearly twenty-two years, Raj shaved nearly every other day in his life, stating it was professional to have a clean-shaven face for his meetings and other professional liaisons. While he may be have had that occasional day where it was Sunday and he felt lazy, her finding his stubble attractive yet scratchy whenever he tried to kiss her. Still, she thought with a raised brow as they got ready for their day, this was different. He was actually growing out a bit of a beard, seeing the flecks of gray here and there.

The past couple of days had been strange for Simran to observe. Their nightly dates were dwindling rapidly as Raj had gone back to work. Surprisingly, he settled in very well and knew the logistics of the business. While she was glad he had gone back to work, she couldn't help but feel somewhat useless. There were times she couldn't make sense of Raj – one minute he was talkative and asking her random questions, the next he'd go quiet and become pensive. It was driving her mad with his erratic behavior.

What's more was seeing Raj's progress to be social had somewhat approved – according to Dr. Talwar. Observing this, Simran had to give in and go back to work part-time at King's College. While her department was more than happy she was back, thinking all was well with Raj, she couldn't help but feel a failure somewhat. The weeks following Raj's physical recovery, his memories had not come back. He still was distant and even their evenings out didn't shake the memory department. Simran had even noticed that those evenings out had started to dwindle down as the weeks went by.

When she had related this information to her dear and life-long friends – Sheena, Payal and Dolly – over coffee just the other day, her doubts and fears were magnified.

"What do you mean he stopped taking you out?" Sheena immediately questioned, her eyes slightly widened.

Simran helplessly shrugged, not knowing what to respond to her.

"Simran, this doesn't sound normal," Dolly interjected. "It's been more than two months and he still has no memory of you and your life together? Are you _sure_ this Dr. Talwar is good at what she does?" she questioned.

Simran deeply sighed, the worry of it all weighing heavily down on her. They were voicing all her doubts that had been running amok in her mind for the past month noting no changes were happening. While she appreciated her friends coming for coffee, taking the time out of their busy lives on the Saturday afternoon to hear her out and get their advice on what to do, she now knew this wasn't the best idea. Since she, herself, didn't know what approach to take with her husband.

Pinching the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger, she rubbed the inner corners of her eyes, trying to think of all they had just said. Yes, they admitted it was strange Raj wasn't remembering a thing. Yes, she agreed with them Dr. Talwar wasn't progressing with Raj as she should have been. But what was there to do next? Take Dr. Carter's advice and have sex with Raj when he wasn't so comfortable prolonging their kisses into something more?

"Simran, listen to me," Sheena began, noting her friend's worry. "I think it's high time that you go and see Dr. Talwar and ask for his file."

"I can't do that," Simran replied. "That's private information that only Raj can obtain since he's the patient, and is solely within his mindset to view his own file. I'm only allowed to look at it if he's incapacitated, which, thank God, he's not."

"Regardless," Dolly interjected, "You need to see for yourself what is going on." Dolly grew quiet, her brows furrowed, and her bottom lip pursed into a frown.

"What is it?" Simran then asked, noting her friend's concerned expression.

"It's just that, you've said to us that Raj hasn't tried to touch you or have any kind of intimacy with you besides kissing, right?"

"Yes," she answered.

"What if – well, what if – "she paused, slowly rubbing her hands together, unsure whether she should voice this to her friend.

"Dolly?" Simran coaxed, worried what she might be thinking.

"What if something else is going on? What if something is going on with Raj and his therapist? I've read that sometimes patients become very attached to their therapists since they feel they can tell them anything without feeling judged, or pressured by their family and society's obligations. It could be me having an overactive mind, but it's possible…"

Simran frowned at the thought, thinking back to their conversation. Her mind replaying Dolly's words over and over again. It was a possibility; she had read a few studies of incidences where the boundaries of patient and therapist have crossed the line. There were even books and films on the subject, but was it really possible? She internally questioned. Was her Raj capable of such a thing?

Tapping her pen at her office desk, going over in her mind what to do. How to fix the problem. Lost in her own thoughts, she didn't take note of a slight knock at her office door.

"Dr. Malhotra?" a voice called out.

Simran finally turned to the voice. "Hmm? Oh! Dr. Mukerji, how are you?" she then asked, surprised to see the Business Writing professor in her office.

Dr. Mukerji only smiled and chuckled at Simran's faraway gaze. "I stopped by to see how you were. Your sabbatical was a bit of a surprise to us," he mentioned.

Simran weakly smiled. "Yes, my husband was ill but now all is well." _At least, I hope so,_ she worriedly thought, biting her bottom lip in concern.

Dr. Mukerji merely smiled, pleased to see his colleague back on campus. Simran blushed under his kind gaze, quickly looking away and back to her monitor screen. Since starting as an Associate Professor at the English department ten years ago, she met Dr. Sameer Mukerji during their orientation and first day on the job. While they always had a respectful and professional relationship, there were times when Simran felt Sameer's gaze would linger far too long than cordially expected. He was respectful enough to never intervene in her marriage, having stated that he highly believes in the institution. Probably the reason why he never married, he jokingly stated once.

Simran chuckled. "You can't be serious," she replied. "I'm sure you haven't met the right person, yet."

Sameer shrugged. "Probably. But, after meeting so many women from my grandmother and mother, I think I'm meant to meet my other half on my own terms."

While Simran shook her head, knowing the man would make a fine husband, there were times where she'd helplessly start comparing Raj to Sameer – Sameer's complexion quite lighter than her husbands with less hair than Raj's, his demeanor a little more quiet and conservative, and he's been known to have meaningful conversations with others. While his sense of humor was on the dry side, she still couldn't fathom why he was still very much alone and in his early forties, no less. She'd admit to herself there were times she'd wondered if had she never met Raj or if she wasn't in an arranged marriage to Kuljeet all those years ago, what would've happened had Simran and Sameer met. Probably would've end up marrying him, Simran passively thought, knowing they were alike in their demure and decorum manners.

Never pondering too long on the thought, she weakly smiled at Sameer and motioned for him to take a seat across from her at her desk.

He obliged and folded his hands on his lap. "So, does this mean you're officially back?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Not exactly. Since the accident was just when term started, I had to step back. I won't officially be having a class roster until next term."

Sameer nodded. "I see. So, it's only desk work until then, eh?"

Simran nodded in response. While she wanted to converse with her colleague, the knawwing feeling in her chest prevented her from doing so. All she kept thinking about was Raj's condition not progressing. Still recalling her friends concern, she knew the uneasy feeling had grown. Thinking back on what Dolly had said, she made a point – the sessions with Dr. Talwar were not working. There was something else, too, she thought, and it wasn't adding up.

Glancing down at her open calendar, she found Raj's appointment was today at this time with his therapist. She wanted to see for herself what the issue was, and whether Dr. Talwar was holding anything back from her email correspondence to Simran.

Glancing at the time, she knew she had just enough time to spare to catch the therapist with Raj still in session.

Quickly standing up, she grabbed her coat and made her apologies to Sameer, stating she had an emergency to run and paced out of her office. Not having the chance to hear him state it was all right before leaving her office.

Rushing down the intersection, her hands shaking on the steering wheel, hoping this impromptu idea of hers would work. Parallel parking just beside the building, she immediately caught sight of Raj walking out of the building escorted by a woman, her back facing Simran. When the woman turned, Simran gasped at the sight. There was no question she was stunning with her light brown tresses glistening in the sunlight. But there was something about the way Raj was eyeing her. It was the very look as if he was smitten by someone. Simran's gut dropped watching their interaction and noted how friendly it was. _Too_ friendly, she thought.

Panic and anger seized her heart towards the situation, her breaths coming in short puffs through her nostrils. This wasn't right, this couldn't be right, she continuously thought. It seemed as if her own husband had now have feelings towards this woman. Wasn't the relationship of patient/therapist supposed to be on a professional basis? She thought.

Tears brimmed her eyes, her heart pounding hard in her chest at the scene she witnessed. Setting her jaw on edge, she was ready to have a few words with this so-called doctor and find out exactly what was going on.

She waited in the car until she was sure Raj was out of sight, walking down the block and making a right turn around the building as the woman walked back inside. Pushing open and slamming the car door shut, Simran purposefully walked into the building Raj had just come from. Yanking the door open, she strutted into the office and demanded to speak to Dr. Talwar to the receptionist.

"Ma'am, please. Dr. Talwar is in a session right now," the young receptionist explained.

"I don't care where she is! I want to speak to her this instant," Simran demanded.

Nandini heard the commotion outside her office as she was documenting Raj's progress this visit. Strange, she thought, in the weeks he had been to see her, there was not one ounce of progress. She feared that Raj was suffering from permanent memory loss, and there was no way back. However, her thought process was disturbed when she heard the heated voices outside her office door.

Stepping out of her office, she found the woman demanding to see her and found her flushed with rage and visibly shaking.

"Excuse me," Nandini intervened. "I'm Dr. Talwar. May I help you with something?"

Simran turned to Nandini and glared at her with every ounce of rage within her. This was the cause for Raj's ever so slow progress. She was the reason he didn't want to remember – he not only found her attractive, but also unattached as there was no wedding ring on sight on her left hand.

"What the hell is going on between you and my husband?" Simran suddenly lashed out.

Nandini took a step back, petrified of her anger. "Excuse me?" she responded back in an accusatory tone.

"You heard me. You have been treating my husband, Raj Malhotra, for nearly two months now and there has been no change. I come here, waiting outside your office and find you two all smiling and giggling with each other. For weeks, I wondered what the hell is going on, why is he not progressing. Now I see why!" she pointed her finger at Nandini, rage filling her inside, hot tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Mrs. Malhotra, please," Nandini kindly implored. "Let's step into my office and we can discuss this in private."

Simran quickly wiped her tears away, slightly angry at herself for letting the tears she had been fighting pour out. She followed Nandini to her office and stood in the middle of the room, not caring to sit down. Far too nervous and fuming to be able to relax at such a state.

Nandini heavily sighed. She was afraid of this, she ruefully thought. And what's worse, she figured, was that Simran had thought the she and Raj were having some sort of affair, when, truthfully, that wasn't the case.

"I understand your frustration, Mrs. Malhotra," Nandini began.

Simran scoffed. "No, you don't. You haven't been married to someone for over twenty years and have everything fall apart because of some woman who has been twisting his mind instead of treating it."

"But, you see, that isn't the case," Nandini pointed out.

"Right! I'm supposed to believe that."

Nandini nodded. "Tell me something: have you noticed any behavioral changes in Raj?"

"Of course! Since the moment he recovered, he hasn't been the same person. He – he – "Simran choked on the words, trying so hard to stay strong and fight through the emotions developing inside her. "He's not been _my_ Raj for over two months now."

Both women became quiet, one unsure what to say or do for the other to continue the conversation. Nandini decided to tread softly into a touchy topic she knew Simran would not take too well.

"Please understand, I had no intentions of taking your husband away from you in any fashion. I respect the sanctity of marriage. And, I am his doctor. It's against the law for me to have that type of relations with him outside…"

Simran scoffed, rolling her eyes at Nandini's apology, not wanting to hear it. Instead, she turned and faced the window overlooking the street. Spring was in the air; the leaves were changing their colors to a brightful green and the wind outside was chilly and steady enough for a light jacket.

"Do you know, when I realized my husband was in love with me, I found him in the middle of a mustard field, his arms open wide for me. He reassured me all was going to be well. That we'll find a way to be together. That running away isn't an option because, in his words, 'I may have been born in England, but I am an Indian, and I will not sneak away with you as my bride. I want to do it openly, without having to hide.' It was at that moment I knew I could trust him with my life. Now…" she shut her eyes tight, preventing the hot tears from streaming down her face.

Raj – her Raj – was slipping away from her and she didn't know what to do. How can she help her own husband when he has become so distant with her? And now, seems to have grown feelings to his own doctor?

Nandini's heart broke seeing the woman seated beside her fall to pieces. This wasn't right in any way and she knew that. Nandini knew the only way to rectify the situation and to actually reveal the truths about Raj was time. She knew Simran was under the assumption that Raj hadn't remembered anything. Yet he had. A simple but significant memory that now had to be revealed.

Nandini took a deep breath, knowing what she was about to say would change the dynamic of Simran and Raj's entire relationship. "Tell me: how old were you when you had your first kiss?"

Simran turned and raised a brow to Nandini at the off-topic question. "I was just twenty-one," she answered. "Raj was my first kiss. He…" Simran stopped herself before continuing, fervently looking back at the therapist and the carpet, trying to make sense of the question. She opened and closed her mouth several times, trying to form a sentence when, the one thing she had hoped for most, had finally been revealed and not in the way she had expected or wanted.

"No," she whispered under her breath. "Please, no! Please tell me that he hasn't been hiding this from me."

Panic gripped her heart, piercing its way through as it seized her. Her very breath taken away from what she just realized: he remembered. He actually remembered something, and he didn't tell her. A sob escaped her lips, her hand quickly covering her mouth to control her cries. No, she started shaking her head violently. This wasn't right. This isn't right.

She wasn't sure how or when, but found herself gasping for breath, the air from her lungs escaping her lips with each breath she took.

"It's going to be all right, Simran," Nandini soothingly said.

"How?" Simran sobbed. "How is this going to be all right? I – I can't even understand why he would keep this from me!" she released another wretched sob, her hands covering her face, her body shaking from the revelation.

Nandini quickly embraced her in a hug, knowing that in times like these, it was best to have someone embrace you. The world may feel lost, she thought, but at least she could help Simran in some way.

Simran eagerly returned the hug, tears flowing, not knowing what to do or even what to say. But this, she knew: it was time to confront Raj.

* * *

Anjali knocked on Rohan's bedroom door, hoping he may answer a particular question that had been nagging at her all day.

"What's up?" he answered as she walked into his room, propping herself on top of his bed.

"I'm not sure," she replied, biting her bottom lip.

"Well, you're sure about something, otherwise you wouldn't have come into my room," he smirked.

"I just feel like – like something's wrong," she then said. "I don't know what it is, but something doesn't feel right."

It had been a struggle for her and Rohan seeing Raj become withdrawn and not talking much to them, or the fact they have noticed he had become distant towards Simran. While they didn't speak of the matter to him, wondering if this was something they felt Raj had to deal with on his own along with Simran, there was something else Anjali felt was amiss.

"Of course, something doesn't feel right," Rohan immediately answered. "For nearly two months, nothing has felt right. Dad hasn't been himself, and his memories haven't come back and it's eating all of us away, especially Mom."

"No, this is different," she said. Shaking her head in dismay, she ran her fingers through her long tresses. Since this morning, she woke up feeling this weight in her chest as if something was off-balance. She made sure to check her homework assignments – which turned out all was submitted and complete – cleaned her room and checked to see if the errands she had listed for herself to do were complete. When she doubled and tripled checked on it all, she was stumped. Why was nothing feeling right? She thought with a frown.

Hoping her brother would answer the question, it did nothing to quell the nagging feeling in her chest.

Before she could continue, they turned their heads to the car door slamming outside in front of Rohan's window. They watched in fascination as their mother purposefully walked onto the walkway to the front door, slamming it shut behind her, letting the sound ring throughout the house.

"RAJ!" Simran cried out.

Anjali and Rohan stared at each other with wide eyes, stunned and terrified at Simran's booming voice. They had never, in their life, heard her shout at such a state before. They tiptoed out of Rohan's room and into the corridor to get a clear listening view of whatever was about to go down. They knew Raj was home in the office/study and were concerned about the forthcoming events between their parents. As far as they were aware, their parents hardly fought in front of them; it was either light, joking barbs and jabs at each other, or their stubbornness would get to them but would quickly make up. This, however, they knew was going to be nothing like that.

Simran scoured for Raj around the house until she saw him pop out of the office, wide-eyed and concerned.

"Simran? Is everything all right?" he quickly asked.

She curled her lip in distaste, ready to unleash the fury and anger within her. "No," she quickly answered him. "Nothing is all right. Apparently, I find myself today outside your therapist's office and see you were comfortable with her. In fact, you were _too_ comfortable when you both said your good-byes."

Raj's eyes widened. He knew what she was referring to, and he also knew that she had either figured out about his memory or about his growing feelings towards Nandini. It was true, he was growing fond of his therapist, but whether he was going to do anything about it was not in the cards. Since the odd dream he had a few weeks ago, he had told himself that if no progress was made within the year of the accident, he'd have no choice but to let Simran go and deal with it on his own without family. Raj wasn't going to say any of this until he felt it was time therapy had no longer helped. And if Simran agreed to a divorce, then possibly things could start with Nandini. Again, he was unsure if it was a good idea at all, or if it was something he felt the need to do.

"I also," she continued, "find out another piece of information. Were you ever going to tell me about how you remembered our first kiss?" she accusatorily asked. "Huh? Were you?"

Raj gulped, turning away from her and her cold gaze. From the moment he had woken up at the hospital to just a few hours ago, those eyes held so much hope and love in them for him. Now, it was nothing but hard green eyes staring at him as if was nothing but a lie to her.

"I – I wasn't sure how you were going to react…"

"React?! React? I would've been overjoyed. I would've let you kiss me a thousand times that night. Hell, I would've let you fuck me if that would've brought my husband back!"

Raj flinched at her words, each one piercing a small wound to his chest.

"Instead," she continued. "You go ahead and keep that information to yourself. How could you?! How could you do that to me? To us? Am I nothing to you?"

Raj fervently shook his head. "No, no, please don't think that. I just – it was me Simran. It was all me. I was so afraid that if I had told you, then what was I to do if nothing else happened. I couldn't let your hopes get up."

"But that's what I needed, Raj," Simran sobbed, no longer able to suppress her anger. Her hand over mouth to cover her agonizing pain, knowing full well what this argument was going to do to them, to their family.

Since leaving Nandini's office, she felt such rage in her that she never felt before. She knew she had to confront him, and if this was the only way, then so be it. "I needed that hope," she declared. "We all did. And now…" she gulped. "Now, I don't know."

Raj's eyes widened, trying to understand what she was implying. "What do you mean? Simran, it's still me -"

"No, it's not," she quickly answered. " _My_ Raj, the Raj I have known for the past 22 years would never lie to me. He would never keep secrets from me or question our relationship. It was the one thing he was always confident in…"

"But don't you see?" he interjected. "I'm not him. I'm not him at the moment. Yes, what I did was foolish not telling you, and going ahead and developing feelings for Nandini. It was bound to happen with how much time I've spent with her and how comfortable she makes me feel."

"She's your therapist!" Simran fired back. "She has to make you feel comfortable so that you can tell her things. So that she can get in your head and actually help you."

Raj gritted his jaw tight. This was getting ridiculous, he stubbornly thought. How much more was he going to take with the comparisons, the false hope and the pressure of this family. Yes, he'll admit that the notions of falling for his therapist were ridiculous. Yet, for a moment, it seemed right and she was far more understanding and compassionate versus the undue pressure he had been receiving from this family.

"Fine! I'll admit that," he fired back, having enough of Simran accusing him and blaming him for their unhappiness, and his so-called lack of ambition to regain his memories. "But I have been placed with undue pressure here from nearly every corner of this house, forcing me to remember when I can't! All right? I can't remember, Simran!" he exclaimed. "Everywhere I go in this house is some damn reminder that I have to remember. The pictures on the walls," he waved his hand towards the numerous family portraits. "To home videos. My father, the kids and you for compelling me, instigating that I remember something when I can't!"

"That is not fair!" she quickly retorted. "We have been nothing but understanding, and you go and screw things up by not saying anything to us. Always being some wallflower and hardly trying. Don't deny it!" she pointed at him. "I've seen how you've been so-called trying and if you ask me, it's hardly not doing a damn thing at all!"

They stopped to gasp for air. This was the first fight they ever had that had gotten to this point since the accident, Simran sadly realized.

Hot tears streamed down Simran's face. Roughly wiping the tears away on the palm of her hand, this was it, she thought. This was the moment where she had to finally tell him the truth after all she learned today. There was no going around it anymore. He had revealed his true feelings and his actions had clearly spoken louder than his own words. It was time…it was time to finally do the one thing she and _her_ Raj had sworn would never happen to them.

"I think it's time we…we spend some time apart," she finally said, her voice cracking at the end.

Raj raised a brow, not sure if she said what he thought he heard. "What do you mean?"

"I think we need to separate. Spend time apart. Clearly this isn't working for either of us. And I can't – I can't – "Simran's bottom lip quivered, turning away from him, knowing that if she saw his soulful brown eyes, her restraint would break.

"I can't continue on like this anymore," she revealed, gulping, her heart hammering hard against her chest, ready to burst at the seams. "You're clearly not the man I married anymore, and I can't adjust to that. I tried, and…and it didn't work."

Something deep within Raj stirred. He wasn't sure what it was, but he knew it felt off. While he should be relieved, elated, in fact, instead another feeling came about. He wasn't sure what it was, but it was almost as if fear and terror gripped his heart. Raj couldn't comprehend it, internally shaking his head at his jumbled mind. What's happening? He thought. Why was the thought of Simran letting him go the one thing he was ultimately afraid of? Were these dormant feelings? He considered. Something the old Raj was still inside him, however small he might be.

"Are – are you sure that this is what you want?" he struggled to ask, gulping at the forced question coming from his lips. He knew he had to confirm, to make sure this was really happening.

Simran scoffed, her arms crossed, and body turned to face away from him. "This isn't what I want, but it has to be done."

"What if – what if I tried harder?" he then asked, unsure where the question came from. "What if I can – "

"No." she stated, her voice sounding small, but reverberated strongly in his ears.

His eyes widened at the sudden statement. No? She really is giving up, he solemnly thought. Suddenly, the breath in his lungs began to escape him as tears welled in his eyes. Again, he wasn't sure where these erratic emotions were coming from. It felt as though his heart was breaking into pieces by her hard stare with the realization he was no longer going to be near her. The sensation felt oddly familiar, he thought, as though something like this nearly happened before where all hope felt truly lost. Except, this time, it was actually happening.

"Oh," he then feebly responded. "So, what does this mean for us?"

"What do you think it means?" she retorted. "It means that this marriage is no longer. It means we're no longer one. It means our relationship is now disillusioned. It means…" she took a deep, shuddering breath. "It means we are no longer 'Raj and Simran'."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** _Hello everyone, I am so sorry for the late post. Life has been crazy these past few months (personal/family problems that couldn't be helped with). I had been writing bits and pieces of this chapter that I hope has come nicely together. Chapter 8 will be coming soon, so look out for that. Until then, please review_ _and happy reading! :)_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: The Aftermath**

The tears flowed freely, silently crying while sniffing, laying her head on her mother's lap. She couldn't remember the last time she did this. Was it the night she agreed to forget Raj and settle on the arranged marriage to Kuljeet? Or when her beloved Bauji had passed? Regardless, she didn't care. All that mattered was the inevitable had happened – her separation of her beloved Raj.

Simran found Lajjo's soft hands comforting as Lajjo ran her fingers through Simran's dark tresses, soothed by her soft, maternal hands. Lajjo had known about Simran's troubles and conflicts with Raj's memory loss and recovery. While she had decided to stay in the background, knowing her presence might be overwhelming for her son-in-law, it broke her heart to find out the young man she considered her own son had given up.

Listening to her daughter's cries and story of how he had been emotionally unfaithful, Lajjo knew the Raj they had known for over twenty years was no longer with them. Her own eyes welled at the story, stunned of all transpired. Yet, a part of her could understand Raj's reticence about regaining his memories; not wanting to disappoint his family and give them false hope if only one memory was conjured instead of their whole life story. She recalled the countless phone conversations she had with Raj's father, him expressing his concern and worry for the couple.

"I don't know what to do, Lajjo," he confided one evening with a heavy sigh. "Whenever he's at work, I see my son being charming and self-assured. I think to myself that maybe he remembers – he remembers how he truly is, that I have my son back. But the moment he steps into the house, he becomes this shell of a man that doesn't know how to talk to his own wife. I can't explain it…" he then sniffed. "And Simran…God! She's trying so hard to be strong, but I can see she's dying inside everyday with this constant struggle."

Lajjo was speechless, hearing Dharamvir's effusive speech. She knew all the problems hearing straight from Simran, but to know Dharamvir has witnessed everything firsthand and the fact she couldn't find a way to reassure her daughter all would work out in the end had dismayed her. Now, here she was, consoling her eldest while Chutki, Aman and the kids went to pick up Anjali and Rohan, and take them out somewhere so they could have the company of family while Raj and Simran parted ways this evening. Lajjo knew Anjali and Rohan heard the whole scene unfold in front of them, away from their parent's eyes, and her heart broke knowing their family will never be the same again. Tears flowed from her eyes, gliding down her cheeks, doing everything she could to be strong for Simran right now, but it couldn't be helped. She, too, had to mourn the loss of Raj.

"What could I have done differently, Maa?" Simran quietly asked. "What could I have done?"

Lajjo sniffed, quickly wiping away her tears with her fingers before running her fingers through her hair, again. "My darling, I think you've done everything you could have. It's no use to think of the 'could have, should have, would have,' anymore."

Simran contorted her face, a small whimper escaping her lips, attempting to control her heart breaking deep inside and the loss she experienced this evening. She had quickly left the house, not wanting to be around Raj as he decided to pack his belongings and stay at a hotel until he could figure out his situation, or face the kids. She knew they heard the whole fight, and she also knew she couldn't face them yet. Seeing their heartbroken faces and the fact their parents – who've loved each other fiercely and fought to be together – are no more. She was grateful when Chutki decided to go over to her home and take them out somewhere, whether it was ice cream or to a park, she didn't care. As long as they were with family and could share this time with them, that's all that mattered. Since, right now, Simran knew she needed to mourn the end of a relationship and marriage that defined what love was to her.

Laying her head on her mother's lap, Simran thought of a memory when she had asked Raj what love meant to him. His response, to this day, shook her to her core…

" _The moment I look at her, all of my dreams, all of my heart's desires will come true…"_

Gasping for breath from her gut-wrenching sobs, hardly able to inhale, it was clear as day to her now: she truly was never that girl where his dreams and desires would come to fruition. It was possible that their relationship would run its course. And at this very moment, it did.

* * *

Drumming. That's all she heard, the simple sound of a drumming in her ears, unable to process or fathom what had transpired a mere few hours ago. Sitting in an ice cream shop with her little cousins, aunt, uncle and brother, Anjali was at a loss of what to do or how to feel. She still wasn't sure what she witnessed earlier this evening was true, but according to her current location and how Aunt Chutki and Uncle Aman were acting, it was. Her gaze turned towards Rohan and he pensively looked out the glass window, not present and unwilling to talk about all that transpired.

Chutki observed her niece and nephew, knowing their hearts were breaking inside and all the questions they had. She knew they needed to have a conversation about it but wasn't sure how to approach it. After all, watching her sister come to her home in such a state – tears gushing, calling out for their mother and having a breakdown in the middle of her living room – told her everything she needed to know. As much as she wanted to be there for Simran, she knew she had to at least be there for Anjali and Rohan. Simran needed the comfort and reassurance of their mother since she couldn't console her children just yet. Turning her gaze to her two boys of seven and nine years old, oblivious to what had transpired, happily eating their ice cream. She envied them briefly but knew she and Aman would break the news to their children that their favorite Uncle Raj would not be around as much as they were used to.

"Anjali?" Chutki coaxed her niece.

Anjali turned towards her aunt, her expression blank and her eyes lifeless inside.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" she tentatively asked.

She shook her head, not ready to admit the truth, still processing her parent's words of anger towards each other.

" _Fine! I'll admit that. But I have been placed with undue pressure here from nearly every corner of this house, forcing me to remember when I can't! All right? I can't remember, Simran! Everywhere I go in this house is some damn reminder that I have to remember. The pictures on the walls, the home videos. My father, the kids and you for compelling me, instigating that I remember something when I can't!"_

" _That is not fair! We have been nothing but understanding, and you go and screw things up by not saying anything to us. Always being some wallflower and hardly trying. Don't deny it! I've seen how you've been so-called trying and if you ask me, it's hardly not doing a damn thing at all!"_

She flinched at the memory, tears pooling her eyes as she turned away from her aunt's sympathetic gaze. Before she realized it; Anjali broke down, a gut-wrenching sob escaping her lips, tears flowing down as her body shook. Everyone turned to gaze at her in concern, even Rohan was stunned before the prickly sensation was felt in his eyes. He could empathize with her since he knew exactly what was crossing her mind at this moment.

"I can't believe it!" she finally spoke, her shoulders shaking. "I don't want to believe it, Aunt Chutki."

It was then Rohan brought her into his arms, knowing he had to be strong for her and for their mother. He realized with Raj moving out this evening, he would now be the man of the house. Something he wasn't ready for, but knew he had to take up the mantle.

Chutki walked over and wrapped her arms around her niece and nephew, reassuring them they still were a family and will always be there for them.

"I know, Anjali," she sniffed and softly whispered into Anjali's hair. "I don't want to believe it, too."

* * *

Dharmavir slowly walked around his home, his mind whirling at the news he heard tonight. It was one thing to know there were issues going on with his son, it another to find out from his grandson that not only had Raj and Simran had a fight but severed their relationship. What's worse, Dharmavir pensively thought, was it seemed it was severed for good.

Deeply sighing, rubbing his hand over his head as he tried to make of the situation. Since Raj's discharge from the hospital, he stayed out of sight during the recovery process. He felt this was something he needed to do since Simran was his next of kin and, well, the love of his son's life. Though, when he heard the reasons for the separation, it disturbed him greatly. Not only had his own son begun to have feelings for his therapist, but also lied about a simple memory that could've given their family much needed hope. True, there were times where watching Raj at work was a sight to behold; it was as though nothing ever happened. He was sharp, witty and ready for any of the challenges his position came with. Yet, for some odd reason, once he stepped out of the office, something always shifted. What's even more disturbing was Raj stopped asking questions about his life nor did he seem to care to ask.

Disappointed was too small of a word for how Dharmavir felt how Raj handled the whole situation, and yet he had to ask himself, "Was this man really Raj? Or someone else that had inhabited his body?" He wasn't sure, nor did he wish to find out. What he did want to do, though, was shake this man, whoever he was, and make him fix this. Fix the grief, the sadness and hurt he bestowed upon their family.

Making his way towards the master bedroom, Dharmavir found Raj, his back towards him, packing his clothes and other necessary belongings in a suitcase.

"So, it's true," Dharmavir started. "You really are leaving."

Raj turned his head over his shoulder to find Pops standing in the doorway, his hands in his pockets and concern etched across his forehead.

He nodded. "Yes. I'd rather leave than make things uncomfortable for everyone."

"I see…and where will you go?"

"I'm checking into a hotel for a few days until I can figure something out. Probably rent a studio apartment near the office."

Dharmavir nodded and glanced around the room, spotting a small wedding photograph taken of Raj and Simran perched on one of the nightstands. He wryly smiled, remembering how quick the ceremony and reception was since he and Simran didn't want to wait any longer as they were officially allowed to be together.

Dharmavir heavily sighed. "You know," he began, "there was a time when I thought you wouldn't marry anyone."

Raj stopped folding his clothes and raised an eyebrow to Pops' direction, curious where he was going with this conversation.

"There were many times when I thought, 'Well, he'll either be a bachelor all his life and be content with it or marry some English girl and that'll be that.' While I secretly wished a traditional Indian girl would capture your heart just as your mother did mine." He deeply sighed and shrugged. "But I knew that dream was futile. You may have friends that are Indian and may have flirted with some Indian girls, but you never really found herself gravitated towards them. A part of me thought it was because you either respected them too much, or felt you were not worthy of them.

"Whatever the case was, I accepted it and moved on. But, when Simran showed up, something inside of you changed. Even during your occasional phone calls while on your Eurotrip that summer, I sensed something was going on but didn't pay any attention to it. I thought, 'Here we go! Another girl he's flirting with and another girl he'll never see again.' But no, this was different. The night you came home and looked up at the moon, seeing her face in the night sky, I knew it – he fell in love. And not just with any girl, but a girl completely out of his league." He wryly smirked. "You both fought to be together. And while I always loved you, it was during that time and for over twenty years since then I felt such pride in seeing you with her and your family. Watching you grow to become a man I had always wanted you to become. And now," his upper lip slightly curled in disgust. "Now I'm not so sure."

Raj gulped, afraid yet knowing he had to ask his question that was pressing on his mind. "What do you mean?"

Dharmavir shook his head, attempting to find the words he needed to say. "The son I had always loved and respected is no longer here. You've hurt this family by your withdrawal and secretive nature. And what's worse? The selfishness and fear in your eyes any time one of us tried to connect with you. What happened? What happened to my son that brought life and zest in our lives?"

"He's gone, all right?" Raj spat back. "Is that what you want to hear? Satisfied? For months I've lived with this boulder on my back, trying to do everything I can to appease this family and I failed – "

"That's the point!" Dharmavir retorted. "You failed. You didn't even try to make any kind of attempt. You simply gave up. I know my Raj," he continued, "and I know he would've continued to work hard on this and do everything in your power to not only remember but work towards rebuilding your life. Now, though, I see. I see what you've truly become."

Pops heavily sighed and looked into his son's eyes, eyes so like his late mother. He shook his head in dismay. "You are no son of mine," he finally concluded and briskly walked away.

Raj stood rooted to the spot, stunned by that sudden allegation. No matter, he stubbornly thought, if things had worked out the way they should have then he wouldn't be in this mess. Yes, he did care for Simran and their family, and yes he did care and worry endlessly at night about his growing feelings towards his beautiful and compassionate therapist, Nandini, but it was not to be helped. He knew that by continuing to have feelings for her that he would be hurting Simran and their family. Plus, the whole notion of this Raj before the accident…well, he certainly couldn't live up to the pedestal of a man.

Walking into his closet, he rummaged around the drawers and cabinets for any missing pieces of clothing he did not manage to find earlier. Grateful to find something to do with his hands and the distraction. It wasn't until he stumbled upon a small guitar, a mandolin, on top of a shelf. Curious, he raised a brow at it and took the piece in his hands. Wiping the years of collected dust, he wasn't sure why but decided to run his fingers through the cords.

Hearing the notes, he gasped as something of a memory from a long time ago: a woman of honey-brown skin and eyes very much like his own presented him this very mandolin and smiled when he struck up a random tune.

"No, no, my darling," the woman affectionately said, gently running her fingers through his unruly hair. "You must first practice before playing any kind of music."

He eagerly nodded, first striking one cord before another and looked to the angle before him. She smiled sweetly at him and laughed. "Oh, Raj," shaking her head, "you never are one to follow rules, are you?"

The young boy simply shrugged and began to play random tunes for the woman. "Maa, do you know how to play?"

"No, my darling boy, but that is why I am giving you this on your birthday – so I can hear you play all the time."

Raj gasped for breath, shaken by the very memory he had just recalled, not noticing his eyes well as he stared in wonder at the mandolin he just found. He couldn't believe it…he remembered something. And not just something, but someone. He remembered his mother months before she passed away and the very last gift she bought him.

* * *

 _Author's Note:_ My fellow readers, I apologize for the long and overdue delay of the next chapter. Trust me, I've read the reviews and I know you all were waiting for months for this next update. For that, I wholeheartedly apologize. Between grad school, publishing a novel and family issues, things have come up that has prevented me from updating this story. Don't worry, thought, I still have plans to continue, so I am not abandoning this story. All I ask is to be patient and will do my best to update as often as I can. In the meantime, I hope you all are enjoying this take and other BW FF posted here in the community. Until then, I hope to have another update as soon as I can. Happy holidays and happy new year to you all!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I've gotta say, I'm happy I've got another chapter posted while I'm still on break. Go me! Anyways, read and let me know what you think! I'm finally getting the momentum of this story down and next chapter, well...no spoilers ahead, but I'm excited for it. Happy New Year everyone!

* * *

Chapter Nine: Picking Up the Pieces

 _3 months later…_

The fire cackled and spit in the fireplace. Simran sat in her loveseat and watched in fascination. She had never been one to meditate on something so insignificant, yet it had seemed one of those times where the reality of her situation and all that had occurred prior to this very moment. The trance of watching the flames calmed her erratic mind.

It didn't seem real, she vaguely thought. It didn't seem that such a small event that should've had led to a simple recovery and life could move on as it had always been, but it did. The accident that was now nearly 5 months ago had affected not only her life, but the lives of her entire family.

It had seemed strange that coming home the following day after her fight with Raj that he had been true to his word – all his belongings were gone. Nearly every trace of him, except the pictures, had vanished in a single evening. For some reason, Simran decided to check if Raj had left his mandolin. To her shock, it was gone too. The last piece of their summer when they had met and fallen in love now gone. She didn't have any more tears to cry. It had all been used up in that single night when her whole world came crashing down. Instead, she took a deep, collective breath and decided to continue with her life.

While she was able to resume her classes, her students giving her the breath of fresh air she realized she needed, it was the times she had to come home the reality and the boulder she didn't realize she was carrying was becoming more and more weighted down on her. Her son, Rohan, had become distant and was hardly home. Her daughter, Anjali, was aloof and spent more time in her room than ever before. While they did come together for dinner and tried to have a semblance of a conversation, there was a vital piece missing and they all knew that.

But on this evening, Simran knew that she had to broach a subject neither of her children were expecting.

It was a subject they all quietly concluded to not discuss about, but the situation became real every time the three of them came together for dinner. Rohan itched to tell Simran about Raj and Anjali yearned to hear something from Rohan about him. She knew Rohan was spending a lot of time with their father; going to see him on weekends to see how he was holding up and how he was handling the transition. She marveled at Rohan's audacity to do such a thing. When she pressed him to talk about it during their weekly lunch's together, he flat out told her that he was his father's son, and this was something he felt he had to do.

"I don't want him to feel alone in all this," he explained to Anjali. "I can't imagine what it's like losing yourself and all the memories of your life. But he should know that we are there for him."

"How is he, though?" she quickly asked, needing to hear some good news.

Rohan stared out to the distance, contemplating on how to word what he was about to tell her. "He seems like…like he found something. A missing piece to this puzzle and he's not sure where he can find those other pieces, you know?"

Anjali gazed at her younger brother, unsure what he exactly meant by that statement, but it was enough to satisfy her that maybe all wasn't exactly lost.

However, on this night, Rohan decided it was time to broach the subject he knew his mother did not want to discuss today.

"I saw Papa today," he began.

Simran flinched and nearly dropped her fork. She slightly gasped and quickly recovered herself, schooling her shocked expression into one of coolness. She grabbed her glass of wine and took a few deep gulps of the dryness of the beverage, bracing herself for whatever she was about to hear.

"Oh?" she finally responded. "And?"

"He seems well," Rohan replied. "He's been adjusting in his new place and it's not too bad. The flat seems like a good start for him and it's close by to the office, too."

Simran carefully watched Rohan, attempting to sense if there was anything else he was withholding from her. Had he been seeing his therapist? Or had he moved on to his new conquest? What were his days like? Or, better yet, what were his nights like? No, she thought, internally shaking her head, this will not do. She promised herself to move on, to not think about him or anything regarding Raj ever again.

Rohan carefully watched Simran, wondering what was going through her head. He had hoped that maybe this could be a start, a start to lead them back together and possibly mend their relationship. If the memories were lost, then at least they could start fresh and build new ones, right? He knew how deep and powerful love could be just by watching his parents and hearing the story of how they came together countless times from everyone in their family. He hoped that this could led to that.

"I was wondering," he carefully began. "If it's possible, to maybe have him over for dinner. Then we can – "

"There's something I should tell you two," Simran intervened, diligently deflecting the topic of the conversation and Rohan's suggestion. She knew what Rohan and Anjali wanted, but this was something she needed to tell them. Something they both should know. "You know my colleague, Dr. Sameer Mukerji?"

Anjali raised a brow, curious to know where her mother was going with this. "Yes."

"Well, he uh…he um…we have been not only colleagues but good friends for a long time," she began.

Rohan's eyes widen for what Simran was about to reveal. No, he quickly thought, this isn't happening. This isn't how things were supposed to happen. Not to them, ever.

"Okay, and?" he quickly said, agitated on how this conversation was progressing.

Simran took a deep breath, knowing how much this was going to hurt them but it was time. It was time to move on and find her place again. "He asked me out and – "

"And you said 'yes'!" Rohan exclaimed.

"Rohan!" Simran cried out, surprised at him.

"No, don't! You know how much that man has liked you. Papa has always said so, always saying that the man has had some kind of high school crush on you. And you go ahead and do this? You go ahead and betray Papa like that?" he pointed out.

" _Betray him_?" Simran cried out, standing up and facing her son directly. "Your father was the one who betrayed all of us! He was the one that stopped trying, that lied to me and went ahead and started developing feelings for that damn therapist! I'm the one that is betraying this family?! I am trying to pick up the pieces of my life after everything that has happened to us, to me, to our entire family. And it's time," she emphasized, sighing, reigning in her anger. "It's time we move on. It's time we pick up the pieces and learn to live in our new dynamic. Your father will always be a part of our lives, yes, but it must be this way, guys.

"I'm sorry," she emphatically stated. "But I can't be alone and let the memories of what your father and I had be the only thing that keeps me moving in this life. I have to let go and move on. I have to build a life for myself. Even if it's a new one."

She placed her napkin on the table and left without another word towards her bedroom and shut the door behind her. The small, resounding click of the door the final piece of decision now solidified into reality.

Anjali let a tear slid down her cheek, quickly wiping it away with her fingertips. She watched Rohan's jaw tightened, still seething with anger and disappointment before finally throwing his napkin on the table, standing up and gruffly walking away from the table towards the front door and slamming it shut behind him. She had no idea where he was going, but she knew he had to get away and think.

Now, Simran sat in front of her fireplace in her bedroom. A decorative piece that added a romantic effect in the bedroom that today seemed insignificant. A memory came to her when she first saw the fireplace and asked Raj if it still worked. When he answered no, she slightly pouted her bottom lip. Raj caught the small expression and soon asked if there was something wrong.

"It's just that, well…" she gulped, her heart racing against her chest about to reveal something to him that she's never spoken to anyone about. "I've – I've always had this fantasy…"

"What kind of fantasy?" Raj asked.

"Of you…and me…in front of the fireplace…" she looked up to see his reaction and found him initially darting his eyes back and forth, trying to assess what she was saying before finally smirking at her. Within the next twenty-four hours, the fireplace was fixed and running, heating up the bedroom on a chilly night. That same evening, they made love on the floor with sheets and pillows strewn about before Raj finally winced from pain, breaking the mood. When she asked what was wrong, he had to sheepishly give in and tell her his back was hurting from lying on the floor for so long and his knees were starting to chafe. Simran belted out in laughter from the whole scene and shook her head at him before asking him if he wanted to go on the bed instead.

"Yes, please!" he said in relief before finishing what they started.

Simran smirked and shook her head at the memory, but deeply sighed, trying to focus on her current situation and all that was revealed this evening.

She knew she made the right decision by telling the kids this evening. After all, she had been thinking about it for the past few days when Sameer had approached her about it.

"Take all the time you need," he emphasized to her when he made the offer. "I know you're still mourning a marriage that you knew was going to last a lifetime. But just know I'm here and I want to take care of you."

A small tear escaped the corner of her eye. She wiped it away with the back of her hand, thinking back to Sameer's words knowing he was right. He would take care of her and love her, and she would accept it and welcome it, but deep down she knew it wouldn't be the same.

A small knock came from her door, she turned to find it opening and Anjali's head popped in before stepping in. She walked towards Simran and sat beside her in the small space available on the loveseat. Simran embraced her daughter in her arms, welcoming the distraction.

"So, when is the first date?" Anjali asked, biting her bottom lip, doing everything she could to prevent a breakdown in front of her.

Simran chuckled and smirked. "Not for a while," she responded.

Anjali raised a brow, not sure what she meant. She sat up straighter and looked to Simran, attempting to understand what she was trying to say. "What do you mean, 'not for a while'?"

"I won't be going out with Sameer until I get back." She stated.

"Get back? Get back from where? Mama, what are you talking about? You're not making any sense."

Simran sighed. "I won't be going out with him until I get back from my trip. I need to close a chapter in my life before I can turn the pages to a new one. To do that, I need to go away and be sure I can do just that."

"And where will you be going?"

Simran looked back to the fireplace, the last of the wood now turning to dust as the final flicker faded into a smooth stream of smoke.

"Switzerland," she replied.

* * *

Raj grunted the final push-up before finally succumbing to exhaustion. He heavily sighed in relief, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the towel before getting up from the floor and grabbing a cup of ice cool water. The workout was necessary, using it to release his frustrations from work and the lackluster life he was now living.

After shacking up in a hotel in the middle of London for a few days, Raj finally found a flat near the office building, so he was always close by if there were any emergencies. He took a liking to the large windows all around the living room, seeing the skyline of London and all its glory. While it provided with a small kitchen, useful for the simple meals he preferred, a bed big and roomy enough for him, he knew there was very little life in it.

He recalled Rohan had a made a remark that there were no pictures, but quickly realized why. Raj lightly laughed and patted his son on the back, assuring him all was alright.

"Don't worry so much about what you want to say," he remarked. "I'm still your dad and I want to hear your thoughts regardless of my current situation."

He was grateful his son made the effort to come by every weekend and spend time with him. Although the memories were still an issue, he could see Rohan was trying and did not want to lose the connection they have as father and son. Something Raj was still trying to work on internally, but there was definitely progress he could sense. While he wouldn't admit it to Rohan, he had missed seeing Anjali. He knew how hard the accident and memory loss was on her, but he knew, deep down, that she was a breath of fresh air for him. The light of his life, he'd like to think.

And so, his days were filled with a routine. Wake up early morning for a jog around the neighborhood, shower, and head into the office with his secretary already prepped his morning breakfast of coffee and an egg sandwich from a local café nearby he liked. Work throughout the day and evening until the dusk settled across the sky, then head to the apartment building gym and work himself out until it was time to eat dinner and pass out. It was a simple routine that got him through nights. Since, at night, it was always the worst for him.

Raj had begun having dreams – some were dreams, others were nightmares he couldn't shake. There were times the dreams were just collections of colors and fabrics; pastel green lehenga, a white salwar kameez being swept in a breeze, a tear of fabric from a blouse, or the one that shook him to his core – a golden skirt with finely knitted designs brightly shining and running along with a train.

Each time he had a dream, he'd wake up in a pool of sweat, heart racing, unsure what was happening to him before he had to remind himself of where he was. Then the cycle would start over again. Not only was the busy schedule for the evenings, but it helped get his mind off the one person he had trouble shaking – Simran. He knew he hurt her in ways she had never experienced before, and it tore him that he was the cause of it. Yet, he couldn't shake the gaze she gave him at their final meeting, how she looked at him with disdain and heartbreak. Then there was the funny feeling he had experienced when all was finally said and done, and why his own heart and mind began to race with anxiety and sadness. Shaking his head at the thought, he pushed himself to move on and knew that their separation was the best thing for them.

While he had become increasingly busy, he decided as soon as he moved in to his new place that his so-called relationship with his therapist, Nandini, must end. He never gave her specifics as he had an inclination she knew why, but he quietly stepped aside and had not contacted her since he left his home all those months ago.

Today, though, as he began blending his smoothie, wondering what he should do on a Sunday morning with no important emails, phone calls or meetings to go to, his day was free.

Just as he was about to press the push button to blend, his doorbell caught his attention, loudly chiming throughout his entire space. Curious as to who was at the door, Raj walked over and opened it and, to his surprise, found Anjali at his doorstep. His eyes briefly widened, shocked to see her, before softly smiling, glad she had finally come by to visit him.

"Anjali," he said, stepping away to let her in. "It's good to see you."

Anjali tentatively stepped inside her father's new home and found it very spacious. Rohan was not kidding, she wryly thought, there was hardly any pictures. Just a large black leather couch with a flat screen T.V. hung on the wall opposite and large windows showcasing the view of the city. It was cold and lifeless inside, just as Rohan had described it to her.

"So," Raj began, coaxing Anjali's attention. "What brings you by today?"

"Oh! I was…well," she cleared her throat. "I was hoping to see you and catch up. I know it's been a while..."

Raj smiled. "Yes, it has been. How are things? How is school going?" He figured to start lightly, avoiding any and all conversation about _her_ and wondering how _she_ had been handling their situation.

Raj motioned for Anjali to take a seat on the couch as he grabbed his smoothie and sat down with her. Anjali regaled him of her studies and how she hopes to pursue a business degree as teaching was not something she had her heart set on, but enjoyed taking the literature courses.

When she asked how Raj was doing, initially he was going to regale her about his day-to-day activities. Instead, he found himself shrugging and looking out to the distant skyline.

Anjali slightly tilted her head to the side, assessing what her father was thinking before she decided to carefully step into the taboo subject at the moment.

"She misses you, you know," she softly began.

Raj scoffed. "She misses the idea of me, the old me. She doesn't want this," he stated, waving his hand over himself.

"Maybe, but I know Mama, and I know how much she still loves you, and that the thought of not being with you is slowly hurting her inside. She may not say much, but Rohan and I can tell. She's been like a ghost at home. Only talking when necessary," she explained.

He shrugged in response. "There's nothing I can do at this point to change it. What's done is done." He simply said with finality.

Maybe, Anjali internally figured, or maybe not. She shook her head, deciding this possibly wasn't the best time to bring up the subject of Simran soon wanting to date other men and possibly begin the preparation of divorce proceedings. Instead, she decided to bring up the subject of work.

"I hope Grandpops hasn't been working you too hard," she said noting the few specks of gray hair on his disheveled hair.

He chuckled. "No, there's always something going on. But he did mention to me recently that I should take a break."

Anjali slightly perked up at this. "A break? You mean, like a vacation?"

"Something of that nature. He says I've been working too hard and with the speed I'm going I could get a heart attack before I turn 60."

"I think it's a great idea!" she suddenly happily exclaimed, excited now about a possible idea forming in her head.

Raj raised a brow, curious about her now happy demeanor. While he liked seeing her like this, he did find it strange at the same time.

"I mean, you – you need to relax a bit. We don't want you having to go to the hospital again, right?" she quickly responded in one breath, hoping that was the best save she could think of.

Raj curiously watched her, wondering what was running through her head before receding. "Right," he slowly responded, nodding his head in agreement.

"Right, well I've got to get going," she said, quickly standing up before giving Raj a quick peck on the cheek. "I'll stop by again this week for lunch, maybe? What do you think?"

"Uh yeah…sure," Raj replied, unsure. He furrowed his brow, now really curious as to this strange behavior and what she was thinking.

"Perfect! I'll text you and we'll make plans. Bye!" she cried out, practically running out the door. If what she was thinking was surely a plan then she had to run it by the one person she knew would tell her that it was either insane, or the best thing she has ever come up.

Quickly scrolling through her contacts as she took the elevator, she pressed on the name she wanted, letting it ring, waiting for the man to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Rohan! It's Anjali."

"I know it's you, Anjali. They didn't invent caller ID's for no reason, you know?" he retorted.

Anjali rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Listen, I've the most brilliant of brilliant ideas!" she excitedly said.

"Oh yeah? And what's that?"

"I know how we can get Mama and Papa back together again."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten: The Plan**

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Oh my God, yes, Rohan!" Anjali exclaimed in frustration. "Why are you arguing with me about this? I told you, this is going to work! I know it will!"

"How can you be so sure?" he countered. "Mama will practically throw him out before he'll even utter a single word to her."

"Ah, see, that's where you're wrong," she pointed out with a smile. "I know our mother pretty well. And I know she won't kick him out because I found out something that may actually work in our favor."

"Oh really? And what's that?" Rohan asked, now finding this whole diabolical plan more ridiculous the more he heard it.

"I was able to find out where Mama is staying," she stated. "Plus, it wasn't that obvious when I saw what housing option she booked," Anjali rolled her eyes at the whole notion of how predictable Simran really was.

"Okay, and?" Rohan questioned, beginning to feel frustrated at his eldest sister's riddles.

Anjali smirked. "Let's just say I called the cottage where Mama and Papa stayed at when they first went to Switzerland and told them that a Mrs. And Mr. Malhotra will be staying together in that cabin."

Rohan's eyes widened, stunned at how conniving his sister truly was, yet he couldn't deny it; it was brilliant.

"Meaning, if Papa has nowhere to go…"

"Then Mama will have no choice but to let him stay with her at the cabin," Anjali happily exclaimed. "Don't you see how brilliant this is?"

Rohan heavily sighed, knowing there was some truth to that statement. "I'm all for this plan," he then said. "Truly, I am. But how will we convince Papa to go on this trip?"

"Let me worry about that. Your job is to book the Eurail ticket for Papa and find out Mama's itinerary. Make sure that whatever she is doing, Papa is doing the same thing as well. The only way this is going to work is if they're stuck together just like their first Eurotrip."

Rohan nodded, understanding his task. It was surely going to be an ordeal, he figured, but one he knew would certainly work if Simran's stubbornness and Raj's current shy behavior did not get in the way.

To be quite honest with himself, he wasn't exactly sure what he was expecting his older sister to come up with the plan when it came to get their parents back together. Meeting at the local coffeeshop just outside of Hyde Park, he knew Anjali had something up her sleeve. Now, hearing her plan and reasoning behind it, it all made sense. Along with seeing how much of her father's daughter she really is. Rohan ruefully shook his head at that thought.

"What about the office?" Rohan questioned. "How will GranPops even approve of this trip?"

"Already got that covered," she proudly smiled. "When I called and told him my plan, he was 100% in. The only problem he sees with it is how Mama will react, just as you said earlier."

"He does have a point to be worried about that," Rohan murmured, then resolutely nodding. "All right. Let's do it!"

Coming back to their home, Rohan and Anjali began scouring items that may help Raj remember and bring their parents closer together. Anjali had suggested if they can secretly pack these items in Simran's luggage the night before the departure without her noticing then it can lead to a conversation between the two of them about those particular mementos.

When Anjali was scouring for the mandolin in Raj's old closet, she scoured all over the walk-in closet, opening every nook, cranny and drawer available in sight to find it nowhere. Where is that blasted mandolin? She frustratedly thought.

"Rohan!" she called out. "Have you seen Papa's mandolin?"

Rohan entered his parent's bedroom to find Anjali frantically searching through the empty walk-in closet with every drawer and shelve open to find it empty.

"Isn't on the top shelf in the corner where he usually kept it?" he offered.

"No," she clipped, running her fingers through her hair, contemplating on her sanity as she knew where the hiding place of the beloved instrument was always kept.

"That was the first place I checked and it's not there, neither is _Dadi-Ma's_ photo…" Anjali caught herself and realized something was amiss. " _Dadi-Ma's_ photo is usually with the mandolin, right?" she then asked.

"Yeah," Rohan slowly answered. "Papa said that it was his last gift from her before she passed. You know this," he pointed out, stating as if it was obvious to both of them. "Why are you asking?"

Rohan was gazing at his sister as if she had gone mad, observing her as her eyes were beating back and forth, attempting to solve a convoluted puzzle before he realized something truly was amiss. The picture was gone too. Why was the picture gone along with the instrument? It then dawned on them as they look into each other's eyes, widening at what the implication could truly mean.

"HE REMEMBERS!" they both cried out in shock.

"Did you know?" Anjali asked him, knowing Rohan had been spending time with Raj since he moved out.

"No! Not a clue!" he defensively answered. "He never mentioned anything about this to me. Why would he keep a secret, too?"

"I don't know. But all I know is that there's hope. There's hope for the both of them."

* * *

" _Raj?"_

" _Hmm?"_

" _I'm scared," she whispered._

 _Raj groaned. "This again? Simran, I've already told you, trust me, I know what I'm doing."_

 _She nodded, knowing in her mind he was right, that she should have more faith in him. And she did, that she was sure of. She could see he was already capturing the hearts of some of her family members; her aunts and grandmother, even her mother had warmed to him quickly. But still, there was one person that was still being stubborn about him…_

" _I just…I know Bauji, and after what you told me happened at the store, I can't blame him for still holding a grudge," she said. There, she thought, she had voiced her concern and the one thing standing in the way for them. Of course, Bauji would not forgive Raj's stunt from weeks ago swindling beer, and while she knew it was all jest and fun for Raj, to Bauji, it was a serious offense._

" _Simran, look at me," Raj instructed._

 _She lifted her place from his chest, leaning against the balustrade of the balcony, sitting together and at least getting the chance to be together, if only for a moment, after a long day of having to pretend they didn't know each other. She still pined for him, every time she had a moment to look up and glance at him, making sure no one was around to be able to fully look at him and see how beautiful he was to her, how wonderful he truly was, and how much she loved him._

 _Raj sighed with a small frown, knowing how hard this was for her. "I told you, I have this under control. Didn't you swear to me that you will be by my side, supporting me through this?"_

 _She nodded._

" _Then? What's the problem?" he inquired._

" _I – I'm just afraid, that after all of this, that…that Bauji won't see reason behind it and will not allow us to happen," she confessed, tears brimming her eyes._

 _Raj brought her into his arms again, holding her tight against him, reassuring her that all will be well in the end. "In big places, such small things tend to happen, right?"_

 _She sniffed and nodded in agreement. "Right."_

 _Raj softly smiled to her. "If that does end up happening, then we will find a way to be together. Even if we have to elope. But we need to do this, Simran. We need to at least try to make him understand. And I know we will. I know it."_

" _How?" she softly whispered. "How do you know that?"_

 _He smirked. "My Maa once told me, 'Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right, it is not the end.' Trust me." He then winked._

 _Simran gave him a small smile and quickly pecked him on the lips. Raj smirked and let them sit back, relax before having to let her go again until tomorrow night._

Simran sat back in her office chair, gazing out the window, staring off into nothing, and letting that small memory from so long ago consume her thoughts. Hearing Raj's words to her once again: everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right, it is not the end.

While it was true, she couldn't help but feel this ending – for them, at least – was not all right in any way. She missed him, deeply. She missed his warmth, his easy-going laugh, his pranks on her and the children, his take charge attitude. But, most of all, she missed his strength and how he would radiate that onto her.

It was no secret to her family that without him, she was an incomplete person. After visiting her mother, Lajjo this afternoon for lunch, she had even noted a change in her.

"I'm worried about you, my darling," Lajjo voiced.

Simran meekly smiled. "I know, Maa, it's no secret as to why."

Lajjo sighed. "I understand you are hurting inside, and these past few months have been torture for you, for the children, and I'm sure even for Raj…"

"On that last part we can disagree on," Simran muttered.

Lajjo shook her head in dismay. _Still bent on that belief_ , she ruefully thought. "Do you really think this trip will help you?"

"I'm not sure," she replied. "But something inside of me tells me I have to go, even if nothing comes out of it."

"And this Sameer Mukerji? What about him? Will you really begin this new phase of your life with him?"

Simran simply shrugged, unsure of what or how to answer the question since she didn't know herself. When he had made his offer to her weeks ago, she was initially stunned and baffled for his presumptuous act. But, the more she thought about it, the more she realized maybe it was the best thing for her. Start her life over again. A clean slate. While she knew he was a good man, he wasn't the man she wanted.

 _He'll be good to me and the children,_ she pensively thought.

Still, it wasn't going to be the same.

A small knock on her door coaxed her out of her reverie. She turned her chair towards the persona and found it was the man she was just thinking of – Sameer.

"Hello," he greeted with a smile. "I wanted to drop by and wish you safe travels for your trip."

She weakly smiled in return. "Thank you. I appreciate it."

"Of course," he said, stepping into her office and standing beside her desk, his hands in his pockets, unsure of what to do or how to approach her.

When he had made his offer weeks ago, he wasn't sure where it came from, but he knew this was something he had wanted for a long time. He knew it was wrong to covet another man's wife, but he couldn't help the feelings that had developed over the years from their close, professional relationship. He respected Simran and Raj, and, if truth be told, he was respected Raj far too much to even attempt anything out of line with Simran. There were times Sameer was worried he was crossing a thin line, showing his feelings for Simran unintentionally since he wanted to maintain a professional atmosphere between the two. However, he knew, deep down, Raj had suspected an inkling of his feelings for his wife.

Sameer even recalled a holiday party years ago, when Simran wore a stunning black sari, her hair down and straightened with minimal makeup. He gazed at her for longer than appropriate time and Raj caught him. While he didn't say anything directly to him, he did find himself in a conversation with him that evening that eventually ended with a warning to watch himself.

"Simran once told me how you two met," Sameer began when he and Raj were idly chatting at the bar as Simran was chatting with a few of her department colleagues a few feet away.

Raj crookedly smiled as he gazed lovingly at his wife. "Yes," he replied. "It's quite the story," he then chuckled. "Our kids tell us our love story should be made into a movie. But I think all children think that when it comes to how their parents met."

"What would you have done had Simran's father decided not to let you two be together?" Sameer then asked, always curious about the possibility of "What if?"

Raj observed Sameer for a long moment before he finally answered. "It's simple, really. I would've fought and never left."

"Even if she was forced to marry Kuljeet?"

Sameer recalled the look Raj gave him very well; it was a knowing look in Raj's eyes that showed confidence and strength, almost akin to cockiness with his knowing smirk.

"Regardless what would've happened," Raj began, "I would've stopped the wedding. I would've fought harder just as she would have. Thankfully, no such thing ever occurred, but I will say this," he then glared Sameer as if he knew a secret no one else did. "Anyone that gets in the way of our life together will have me to answer to."

Sameer realized at the time his hidden feelings for Simran were not hidden at all. However, he respected Raj and the sanctity of marriage to never attempt anything except a mutual friendship with the couple.

Now though, a part of him was a bit excited about the aspect there was now a possibility of having a future with Simran. While he felt for Simran and all their family had been through, respecting her space on taking care of husband, even praying for Raj's recovery, no such thing occurred. When he offered Simran not only his friendship but companionship, he knew it was going to be a struggle for her to grasp as the only man she had ever truly known and been with was her husband. He even encouraged her to take all the time she needed, but that he was here, waiting and ready for her.

"So," he then said to her, "are you ready for the trip? Have all your things packed?"

Simran graciously smiled. "Yes," she answered. "I'm looking forward to it, along with a much-needed getaway from London and the constant hustling here."

"I don't blame you," he responded. "I understand this is a trip you need to help you move on, but you know my offer to go…"

"Sameer," she interjected, shaking her head in dismay. "We've been over this already – I'm not ready. I'm not ready to share this trip with anyone and I need to do this on my own. I thought you understood."

"I do," he meekly replied, looking down at his feet. "But it doesn't hurt to offer."

Simran heavily sighed and looked out the window again, knowing this was hard not just for him but for her, as well. She knew her life was going to be very different once she returned, but she needed the time away to move on, even if Sameer didn't understand the necessity of it. Still, she thought, it was kind of him to offer.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I appreciate it. But this is something I still have to do on my own."

* * *

Raj shook his head in dismay when he entered King's Cross as he gazed up at the departures/arrivals board, assessing where and when his train was departing.

When Pops first offered the vacation to Switzerland to him, at first, he refused, stating he was needed at the office. However, Pops made a counter that made Raj pause.

"You've never been one to say no to vacations," Pops remarked.

"What do you mean?" Raj responded.

Pops shrugged. "It's just that when you were younger, you would find ways to coerce me into taking you on trips, or me funding your escapades. In a sense, I wanted you to live out your youth the way I never could. I'm offering you time off to relax and possibly even discover some things about yourself, but you're rejecting it. So…" Pops sighed and walked out of his office before saying anything further.

Raj pondered on that simple conversation that when he went to have dinner with Rohan and Anjali the same evening, they too brought it up.

"Why didn't you take the offer?" Anjali asked, looking perplexed. "It's a paid vacation to Switzerland! Anyone would take it," she commented.

"Anjali, I'm busy at the office that there is hardly any time for me…"

"That's no excuse," she countered.

"She's right," Rohan agreed. "You need an honest break. All this work, and no play? You'll experience burnout quicker than a machine." He commented.

Raj glanced at his children back and forth, wondering where this support came from suddenly. While he was grateful his children were trying to connect this version of him, it had seemed suspicious his father and children were suggesting a holiday on the same day.

 _I smell a plot_ , he thought to himself. But decided to ignore the thought and indulge his children on where he should go. The answer, it seemed, was so simple that he shocked they both said the country in unison.

"Switzerland!" the happily exclaimed.

Raj smirked. Yes, he soon thought, there is a plot, but he wasn't exactly what though. While he knew the significance of Switzerland, he couldn't help but feel worried he might disappoint them yet again.

Now, here he was, looking unsure and skeptical at the whole scene. Observing people around him to and from trains, rushing to be somewhere before missing it. Shaking his head, he looked over his shoulder and saw Pops and Anjali walking to him, both smiling in his direction.

Anjali reached to him first and wrapped her arms around him, a small smile on her face with her brown eyes, so very much like his own, happily dancing back and forth as she gazed up at him.

Raj wasn't sure what to make of the gesture as he awkwardly hugged her back, stumped by this development. Maybe she was actually trying, he thought, maybe she is moving on from the idea of the old Raj and starting to actually warm to this new version of himself. Whatever it was, he figured, he'd take it.

"So," she began, "are you all set?"

Raj nodded. "I've got my tickets in my jacket pocket along with all the itinerary information you gave me. I'm surprised you planned this entire trip for me," he commented. "You know I'm capable of doing my own research," he humorlessly added.

Anjali shrugged. "I figured I'd take the burden off your shoulders, plus there's a lot to see and do and I didn't want you feeling overwhelmed."

Raj looked curiously onto his daughter, a small smirk playing on his lips. "Uh-huh. I still smell a plot, you know."

Anjali rolled her eyes. "Oh Papa, you need to get over that. Plus, it's time for you to relax and actually take a breather for a change. These past few months haven't exactly been easy on you."

"She's right," Pops interjected. "Sometimes a vacation does the trick."

Raj thoughtfully nodded. "Where's Rohan?" he noted his son missing from the small party. "I thought he'd be here to send me off…"

"Oh, he had some emergency errands to run that he couldn't miss," she smoothly responded. "He says that he's sorry to miss you but will be here to come pick you up when you get back in two weeks."

"All right, well," he took a big sigh, grabbed his suitcase and nodded his head towards the direction of his train. "Let's get this show on the road."

Anjali chuckled and walked in between her father and grandfather towards Raj's departing train, saying a silent prayer this plan would work.

* * *

"Where's Anjali?" Simran asked Rohan as she was about to board into her compartment. She knew with today finally here she had at least wanted to see both her children before leaving them on their own for two weeks. While she knew it wasn't much time at all, it still would feel as though it would be months before seeing them again.

"Oh, she had some emergency errands to run that she couldn't miss," he responded, making sure the line he and Anjali had rehearsed over and over again yesterday would come out as convincing as it sounded. "She says she's sorry to miss you but will be here to come pick you up when you get back in two weeks."

Simran skeptically watched her son as he gave her the information about Anjali. Something was up, she could sense it as she raised an eyebrow carefully watching her son with the slight tint of red blooming on his cheeks.

"Oh, something is up," Simran pointed at him, "and you're covering for your sister. Tell me, right now, where is Anjali?"

Rohan placed his hands up in defense. "Maa, I'm telling you the truth!" he exclaimed, quickly swallowing the fear and wrath of his mother coming out. This was something he hadn't witnessed from her in months, he thought.

"Rohan, you are lying through your teeth," she stated. "Now spill – where's Anjali?"

Rohan blanched. "How do you even know if I am lying?"

"Because I am your mother," she matter-of-factly stated. "I carried you for nine months, breastfeed you, stayed up with you all those nights you were teething, kissed every scratch and boo-boo you ever had. I know you far too well. I won't ask again…" she commanded.

Rohan sighed. Damn, she was good. "Maa, it's like I told you – she's out running errands. But she promised to be here when you get back."

Simran regarded her son for a long moment before she decided to let him off the hook. She always knew Rohan was a terrible liar and would always catch him on it. But, for this one moment, she decided to let it go with a resolute sigh. Figuring whatever it was he was covering for his older sister; it can wait until she got back.

"All right, well, I'm letting it go for now," she stated. "But I expect you both to be here in two weeks."

"Of course. Have a good trip, Maa. Call us if you need anything," he gave her a quick peck on the cheek before watching her board her train and finding her seat.

He let out a sigh of relief as the train started chugging away towards its destination. Rohan said a silent prayer for her and Raj's safe travels, along with fervently praying this plan would work. He soon received a text message from Anjali that Raj had made it to the train on time, and he and Simran should be arriving at the same time but at different compartments of the train. Rohan nodded as he looked on the train again, watching it become smaller into the distance and quietly saying, "Please God…you brought them together once. Please do it one last time."

* * *

 **A/N** \- I know i have been MIA for the past few months. Again, apologies. Spring semester was no joke, let me tell you...anyways, i finally got this chapter done. the next few chapters are the last phase for the story. And i think you all are going to enjoy it along with me writing it ;) as always, please review! :D


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